Ok. I like the original film. There is something to be said about play-doe looking objects in older movies that just seem pretty cool. There are several references to the original in the new movie, but besides that, I am going to try and judge this flick as an independent and not constantly compare it to it's predecessor.
Clash of Titans takes on a story of some pissed of men rebelling against the Gods. The Gods don't like this, so they threaten them to sacrifice this great looking chick within a certain period of time or they are going to release some bad ass monster called a Kracken.
So here in lies a huge problem. If you have seen any kind of preview for this movie, and odds are that you have because they have been promoting the shit out of it, you already know that shit hits the fan and this Kracken is released. Because of this knowledge, you could probably skip through the first hour and 45 minuets because you ultimately already know how the story is going to play out.
Not only that, but the storyline itself is really rushed. Apparently the complaints that Avatar was a little to long were heard, so they drastically cut this visual masterpiece down and the result is a fast pace story line with some cheesy one liners added here and there to try and give the characters more personality.
The acting sucked. Sam Worthington plays the same roll as he does Avatar. Liam Neeson makes for a crappy Zeus. Alexa Davalos and Gemma Arterton gave me some great eye candy, but it wasn't enough. I think there were several contributors to this piss poor acting including the fast paced story line and the crappy dialog. By far, the best acting comes from a supporting role of Liam Cunningham. Didn't even know there were two guys named Liam on this planet, but he did well.
The visual effects were pretty nice, but it was way easy to tell they were fake. I thought some of the looked crappy at times.
If you hadn't figured this out, I really didn't like this movie. It is a crappy re-make that is going to try and gets peoples attention using the summer blockbuster formula of hero, good looking girl, big problem, bigger monster. I have to give this film a one night stand out of a cherry pit (2 out of 5).
Birddogger Out.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Pay your bills to keep the Repo Men away.
Aight, I was actually looking forward to this movie. It was a movie that I truly knew nothing about, until someone completely explained it all to me. It was a purely innocent move, and I have no ill will what-so-ever. In fact, after hearing more about the flick, I was even more intrigued.
Repo Men is the story of a group of men who's day job is to repossess artificial organs from people who can no longer afford the payments on them. Unfortunately, one of the Repo Men has to get an artificial organ of his own and becomes the target of his own kind.
The flick starts off like an episode of Dexter. It basically gets to the point the way the opening credits of the show does. Of course Dexter is merely going through his morning routine and it is just made to look bad, but Repo Men goes right into the day job of these men. Lots of gore, lots of oooo's and ahhh's, but no one there to say "He went to Jared." My point is, if you have a weak stomach, you might want to check in your weak sauce at the gate.
Since that is out of the way, I would like to say I really enjoyed the acting. Jude Law and Forest Whitaker do a fantastic job together. They make Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan look like bitch rookies. Add in Liev Schreiber and you've got yourself a winning combination.
The story line is intriguing as well. Not so much the cliche, "I went from the hunter to the hunted," but the idea of artificial organs and repo men who come to get them. Because of this scenario, the movie is set in the future. I don't really think anyone could tell us what the future holds, except the physic on Collins St., but I think it was well designed and well received.
However, the great acting and the great story couldn't disguise how crappy the story telling is. The movie was done horribly. Nothing kills a story more than a shitty story teller. Not only that, but I found myself bored at several spots within the flick. And the fact that they chose elevator music as background doesn't really help the situation either. And some parts where real cheesy and predictable.
I can say this about the flick though... I loved the ending. This is more of a personal note. If you know me, I am sure you could understand why I loved this ending. If you don't, well.... you pretty much have no fucking idea. The ending alone made up a lot of ground for the flick in my opinion, which is pretty much what this whole thing is about.
I have to give this flick a one night stand out of a cherry pit (2 out of 5). But you should probably watch it just for the ending... and then hate me for it. ;)
Birddogger Out.
Repo Men is the story of a group of men who's day job is to repossess artificial organs from people who can no longer afford the payments on them. Unfortunately, one of the Repo Men has to get an artificial organ of his own and becomes the target of his own kind.
The flick starts off like an episode of Dexter. It basically gets to the point the way the opening credits of the show does. Of course Dexter is merely going through his morning routine and it is just made to look bad, but Repo Men goes right into the day job of these men. Lots of gore, lots of oooo's and ahhh's, but no one there to say "He went to Jared." My point is, if you have a weak stomach, you might want to check in your weak sauce at the gate.
Since that is out of the way, I would like to say I really enjoyed the acting. Jude Law and Forest Whitaker do a fantastic job together. They make Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan look like bitch rookies. Add in Liev Schreiber and you've got yourself a winning combination.
The story line is intriguing as well. Not so much the cliche, "I went from the hunter to the hunted," but the idea of artificial organs and repo men who come to get them. Because of this scenario, the movie is set in the future. I don't really think anyone could tell us what the future holds, except the physic on Collins St., but I think it was well designed and well received.
However, the great acting and the great story couldn't disguise how crappy the story telling is. The movie was done horribly. Nothing kills a story more than a shitty story teller. Not only that, but I found myself bored at several spots within the flick. And the fact that they chose elevator music as background doesn't really help the situation either. And some parts where real cheesy and predictable.
I can say this about the flick though... I loved the ending. This is more of a personal note. If you know me, I am sure you could understand why I loved this ending. If you don't, well.... you pretty much have no fucking idea. The ending alone made up a lot of ground for the flick in my opinion, which is pretty much what this whole thing is about.
I have to give this flick a one night stand out of a cherry pit (2 out of 5). But you should probably watch it just for the ending... and then hate me for it. ;)
Birddogger Out.
Friday, March 12, 2010
She's not out of my league
Yep. This one probably ends the way you think it will. It is a pretty easy happy go lucky movie.
But you know what, I actually liked it.
She's out of my league is about a guy who isn't very attractive who begins to date a girl who is quite the opposite. Sounds plenty plain, but it was actually well done.
And I personally don't think the girl was a 10. But she wasn't bad at all. Definitely wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers.
The acting wasn't bad.
The best part of the movie is the dialog. It is very cleverly written with some great one liners.
The movie is also very spontaneous. It was like watching Harold and Kumar for the first time. Cracked me up. Was worth every min.
The previews definitely didn't give away all the movie. However, the ending is very predictable. I have to give an orgy out of a cherry pit (4 out of 5).
Ohh, and BTW, if you like old Disney films, you will definitely get some of the jokes that only Baby Girl and I were laughing at.
Birddogger out.
But you know what, I actually liked it.
She's out of my league is about a guy who isn't very attractive who begins to date a girl who is quite the opposite. Sounds plenty plain, but it was actually well done.
And I personally don't think the girl was a 10. But she wasn't bad at all. Definitely wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers.
The acting wasn't bad.
The best part of the movie is the dialog. It is very cleverly written with some great one liners.
The movie is also very spontaneous. It was like watching Harold and Kumar for the first time. Cracked me up. Was worth every min.
The previews definitely didn't give away all the movie. However, the ending is very predictable. I have to give an orgy out of a cherry pit (4 out of 5).
Ohh, and BTW, if you like old Disney films, you will definitely get some of the jokes that only Baby Girl and I were laughing at.
Birddogger out.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Alice isn't so Wonderful
Aight. Sorry it has been a little while, but yeah, I saw Alice in Wonderland.
If you had any kind of Disney focused childhood or like the works of C.S. Lewis then you have an idea on how the storyline goes.
So the storyline isn't bad. But the movie sure is. I was fighting to stay awake. I heard more laughs for a preview than what I actually heard in the movie.
It was Tim Burton, so it was a little on the dark side. It did have Johnny Depp, but that really didn't help the situation. He did well in his role, but everything else was pretty much crap.
There is one good thing to say. It is hard to make Anne Hathaway look bad. She was dressed like shit but she still was hot. How can this be? You should watch the flick to see for yourself.
I have to give this flick a masturbation session out of a cherry pit (1 out of 5).
I did see two other movies recently....
Cop Out is a flick with Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan who are two cops who get involved with some Mexican mafia gangsters.
The story line was kind of clever, but the acting really wasn't. Bruce and Tracy really don't go well together at all. If there was any decent acting, it was from the Mexican Mafia leader, but he is the guy from half-baked (I'm Cuban Bee).
There was a few clever laughs in there, but they try to make it seem like Bruce and Tracy have been partners forever, but the acting shows they are still feeling out each other.
I give this flick a one night stand out of a cherry pit (2 out of 5).
I also saw Shutter Island.
The big problem I saw with that flick was that if you saw the previews, you could probably take a very educated guess on how the movie was going to end.
The acting was that bad, but I did think the movie was very well made. The dreams seemed realistic, and the time frame seemed believable too. My favorite part was how the music track was used like an old horror flick.
If it weren't for the previews, this movie may have not have been that bad. I have to give the movie a threesome out of a cherry pit (3 out of 5)
Birddogger out.
If you had any kind of Disney focused childhood or like the works of C.S. Lewis then you have an idea on how the storyline goes.
So the storyline isn't bad. But the movie sure is. I was fighting to stay awake. I heard more laughs for a preview than what I actually heard in the movie.
It was Tim Burton, so it was a little on the dark side. It did have Johnny Depp, but that really didn't help the situation. He did well in his role, but everything else was pretty much crap.
There is one good thing to say. It is hard to make Anne Hathaway look bad. She was dressed like shit but she still was hot. How can this be? You should watch the flick to see for yourself.
I have to give this flick a masturbation session out of a cherry pit (1 out of 5).
I did see two other movies recently....
Cop Out is a flick with Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan who are two cops who get involved with some Mexican mafia gangsters.
The story line was kind of clever, but the acting really wasn't. Bruce and Tracy really don't go well together at all. If there was any decent acting, it was from the Mexican Mafia leader, but he is the guy from half-baked (I'm Cuban Bee).
There was a few clever laughs in there, but they try to make it seem like Bruce and Tracy have been partners forever, but the acting shows they are still feeling out each other.
I give this flick a one night stand out of a cherry pit (2 out of 5).
I also saw Shutter Island.
The big problem I saw with that flick was that if you saw the previews, you could probably take a very educated guess on how the movie was going to end.
The acting was that bad, but I did think the movie was very well made. The dreams seemed realistic, and the time frame seemed believable too. My favorite part was how the music track was used like an old horror flick.
If it weren't for the previews, this movie may have not have been that bad. I have to give the movie a threesome out of a cherry pit (3 out of 5)
Birddogger out.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
09 Awards
I have been meaning to do this for some time now, this is the first chance I got. Those who know me well know that I have been talking about it . It is time for the Birddogger Thoughts Movie Awards 09!
Before we begin, I have to give a shout-out to San Antonio for kicking my rear in Pigskin Pick'em. Good job haas. He was so polite about it, he gave me a pity hug for losing. What a guy.
So the first award is the Shit award. This award goes to the biggest waste of money, film, and time.
Here are the nominees.
1. Taking Woodstock
2. Jennifer's Body
3. Year One
4. Gamer
5. G.I. Joe
and the loser is...
Year One! This movie was so bad, I was just waiting for the mofo to end. I had to fight to stay awake as every decent joke was seen in the previews. Such high expectations, such low results.
I also thought about giving a Best Actor Award. However, I don't discriminate between sexes. Women are just as eligible as men in this category. Here are the nominees.
1. Gerard Butler - Gamer, The Ugly Truth, Law Abiding Citizen
2. Zachary Quinto - Star Trek
3.Christoph Waltz - Inglorious Bastards
4. Sandra Bullock - The Proposal, The Blind Side
5. Jackie Earle Haley - The Watchmen
And the winner is....
Gerard Butler! This was his year. He played a wide range of different characters and did a great job in his roles, even though only one of the movies that he was in I really enjoyed.
And finally, Birddogger's Best Picture Award. Here are the nominees.
1. Inglorious Bastards
2. The Blind Side
3. Law Abiding Citizen
4. Up
5. State of Play
And the winner is...
Law Abiding Citizen. This movie kept me on edge the whole time. I didn't know who to cheer for. So awesome. This is what movies are supposed to be. Don't take anything away from the other candidates for the award. If they made that list. They are definitely awesome.
Before you people start bitching that Avatar didn't make this list, let me remind you that Avatar got a poor rating on this blog. Stealing a bunch of ideas and dressing it up in awesome graphics get you no where!
Aight, that's it folks. There may not be a movie this week... but we shall see. If not, no worries, there will be more to come.
Birddogger out.
Before we begin, I have to give a shout-out to San Antonio for kicking my rear in Pigskin Pick'em. Good job haas. He was so polite about it, he gave me a pity hug for losing. What a guy.
So the first award is the Shit award. This award goes to the biggest waste of money, film, and time.
Here are the nominees.
1. Taking Woodstock
2. Jennifer's Body
3. Year One
4. Gamer
5. G.I. Joe
and the loser is...
Year One! This movie was so bad, I was just waiting for the mofo to end. I had to fight to stay awake as every decent joke was seen in the previews. Such high expectations, such low results.
I also thought about giving a Best Actor Award. However, I don't discriminate between sexes. Women are just as eligible as men in this category. Here are the nominees.
1. Gerard Butler - Gamer, The Ugly Truth, Law Abiding Citizen
2. Zachary Quinto - Star Trek
3.Christoph Waltz - Inglorious Bastards
4. Sandra Bullock - The Proposal, The Blind Side
5. Jackie Earle Haley - The Watchmen
And the winner is....
Gerard Butler! This was his year. He played a wide range of different characters and did a great job in his roles, even though only one of the movies that he was in I really enjoyed.
And finally, Birddogger's Best Picture Award. Here are the nominees.
1. Inglorious Bastards
2. The Blind Side
3. Law Abiding Citizen
4. Up
5. State of Play
And the winner is...
Law Abiding Citizen. This movie kept me on edge the whole time. I didn't know who to cheer for. So awesome. This is what movies are supposed to be. Don't take anything away from the other candidates for the award. If they made that list. They are definitely awesome.
Before you people start bitching that Avatar didn't make this list, let me remind you that Avatar got a poor rating on this blog. Stealing a bunch of ideas and dressing it up in awesome graphics get you no where!
Aight, that's it folks. There may not be a movie this week... but we shall see. If not, no worries, there will be more to come.
Birddogger out.
Friday, January 29, 2010
When In Rome... Don't Bother
Yeah, I went to go see When in Rome. Why? Because I can't stand Mel Gibson.
Since that is out of the way....
When In Rome is a classic romantic comedy (which is Latin for Chick Flick) where a young girl who is dedicated to her job steals some coins from a special fountain in Rome that makes some yuppies fall in love with her.
The story line isn't bad, but the preview pretty much show it all. Especially the funny parts. So if you don't want to spend money on this flick, just youtube the damn thing.
I must admit though, I did laugh a time or two. This means that there was some clever lines in this film. Just FYI. However, most of the dialog in the film was pretty cliche. Some of the jokes were predictable too. When you can figure things out as easily as I did, it really doesn't make the movie worth your time.
The acting wasn't to bad, but it was still bad. However, Kristen Bell is pretty hot. So the movie gets some points there. I don't recall a scene where she looked bad. They really made her look amazing.
So, if you probably couldn't tell, I didn't like this flick. I found myself bored and waiting for the predictable conclusion to arrive. Mainly because I had to go to the bathroom. I am giving this movie a one night stand out of a cherry pit (2 out of 5).
Birddogger out.
Since that is out of the way....
When In Rome is a classic romantic comedy (which is Latin for Chick Flick) where a young girl who is dedicated to her job steals some coins from a special fountain in Rome that makes some yuppies fall in love with her.
The story line isn't bad, but the preview pretty much show it all. Especially the funny parts. So if you don't want to spend money on this flick, just youtube the damn thing.
I must admit though, I did laugh a time or two. This means that there was some clever lines in this film. Just FYI. However, most of the dialog in the film was pretty cliche. Some of the jokes were predictable too. When you can figure things out as easily as I did, it really doesn't make the movie worth your time.
The acting wasn't to bad, but it was still bad. However, Kristen Bell is pretty hot. So the movie gets some points there. I don't recall a scene where she looked bad. They really made her look amazing.
So, if you probably couldn't tell, I didn't like this flick. I found myself bored and waiting for the predictable conclusion to arrive. Mainly because I had to go to the bathroom. I am giving this movie a one night stand out of a cherry pit (2 out of 5).
Birddogger out.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Legion of Doom
So it has been a lil while since I have done this, but shit happens. For instance, there has been holiday. Christmas happened, and then New Years, and then I just didn't feel like going to see a flick. I actually don't even like movies.
But anyway, Legion. Yeah, it's a movie. Yeah, it has Dennis Quaid. I didn't know it had Tyrese, but that didn't make any better.
Basically, God is fed up with Man. However, there is an angel who begs to differ and tries to save a pregnant chick from being killed mainly because she is like Sarah Conner and John Conner must be born.
I think that was my favorite part of the movie. I kind of liked the story. I just didn't like the way it was told. It was almost like they couldn't decide what kind of movie it was going to be. Scary, maybe... Serious, maybe... Funny, possibly. It is kind of all three. Kind of left me at a loss and a little bored.
The dialog wasn't that bad. There were some good lines. They really just didn't have the actors to pull it off. Every time I saw Quaid, I thought of the rookie. Every time I saw Tyrese, I kept expecting to get in to a pimped out car and challenge someone to race. They even had the quarterback from Friday Night Lights, and I was just waiting for him to throw a pass. Pretty much the acting wasn't that great.
So overall, I wasn't even that entertained. I have to give this one a night stand out of a cherry pit (2 out 5).
By the way, I did see The Book of Eli. I don't know if I can give it a fair rating. I have actually seen it twice. I will say I was very entertained. It was a good flick. I have to give it an orgy out of a cherry pit (4 out of 5). For point of reference, Star Trek got an orgy too.
Birddogger out.
But anyway, Legion. Yeah, it's a movie. Yeah, it has Dennis Quaid. I didn't know it had Tyrese, but that didn't make any better.
Basically, God is fed up with Man. However, there is an angel who begs to differ and tries to save a pregnant chick from being killed mainly because she is like Sarah Conner and John Conner must be born.
I think that was my favorite part of the movie. I kind of liked the story. I just didn't like the way it was told. It was almost like they couldn't decide what kind of movie it was going to be. Scary, maybe... Serious, maybe... Funny, possibly. It is kind of all three. Kind of left me at a loss and a little bored.
The dialog wasn't that bad. There were some good lines. They really just didn't have the actors to pull it off. Every time I saw Quaid, I thought of the rookie. Every time I saw Tyrese, I kept expecting to get in to a pimped out car and challenge someone to race. They even had the quarterback from Friday Night Lights, and I was just waiting for him to throw a pass. Pretty much the acting wasn't that great.
So overall, I wasn't even that entertained. I have to give this one a night stand out of a cherry pit (2 out 5).
By the way, I did see The Book of Eli. I don't know if I can give it a fair rating. I have actually seen it twice. I will say I was very entertained. It was a good flick. I have to give it an orgy out of a cherry pit (4 out of 5). For point of reference, Star Trek got an orgy too.
Birddogger out.
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