Alright, If you are planning to see this flick, let me warn you of a few things.
There are some naked people. A bunch of people get naked. Unfortunately it stays true to the time period, so there is a lot of bush. Yup, like seventies porn bush. The kind of shit you need a machete for.
There is some drug use. Yeah, that was probably easy to guess. Is there a Beatles acid trip... yup. Bright colors and everything. Might as well put a flash light behind some bandannas... Get the same effect.
There is some really shitty acting. The best acting are the dude's parents. Ohh yeah, the guy who plays the cross dresser also does a good job.
The movie drags on forever. I swear I just wasted five hours of my life, but it was only two hours long. I was fighting to stay awake. I even lifted some of the arm rests on the seats and laid down. Then they turned on the lights in the theater, so I had to sit up. True story, just ask Baby Girl.
The set was pretty good though, I thought it looked like the sixties. Not that I would know... but it's whatever.
Ohh, and if you think you will hear the music of Woodstock, you are sadly mistaken. I think the only song I heard was California Dreaming by the Mamas and the Papas. You don't see any of the concert at all. It is more like you know it is going on, but you are not important enough to watch. It is the rated R movie that you really want to see, but can't get tickets to. Or the strip club you want to go in but you don't match the dress code.
And one more thing, swing your arms around like a squid isn't dancing. I don't give a shit how white you are, that shit isn't dancing.
I really didn't like this movie, it just wasn't for me. But the set and the parents acting helps it out just a little. So this flick gets a one night stand out of a cherry pit (2 out of 5).
Friday, August 28, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Bastards are Inglorious
Quentin Tarantino has been on a dry spell since he Killed Bill, but he has recently hit the jackpot. Lucky Bastard. Inglorious sucks you in harder than a $50 hooker.
The storyline is pretty well thought-out and portrayed in Tarantino fashion. The flick is 3 hours long, and after a long day of work, I really couldn't take my eyes away. For someone who pays student prices for flicks, I might actually pay the full amount to see this one. Well worth it.
The acting is what really steals the show. Surprisingly it isn't all Brad Pitt although he does very well. Honestly though, he had an easy role. Read some lines that are very well written and add a southern accent, ohh and look like a badass doing it. Easy money.
The acting of Christoph Waltz is what really steals the show. He nailed the role of the antagonist, and for those of you who missed that SAT word, it means bad guy. He makes you both hate and admire his character and that is no easy feat.
There are plenty of signs that remind you that Tarantino made this flick. The best sign of all is the dialog. Somehow, he takes everyday conversation and puts it in a movie. Such a simple concept that is to complex for everyone else.
I originally thought this film was a remake which drives me up the wall. The original Inglorious Bastards had a different plot which completely makes sense. Tarantino takes an idea, adds blood, gore and good dialog, and sticks a good-looking guy or girl in front of the camera and he makes money. It's that easy folks.
This one goes as one of his best. I was really hoping Samuel L. Jackson was going to make an appearance, but he didn't. Ohh well. He will be in the next movie I see, yelling as usual.
If you are looking for an historically accurate flick, this is not your movie. If you are looking for some fun Nazi ass kicking with a side of more Nazi ass kicking, then this one is for you. This flick gets the whole cherry pit (5 out of 5). Woot.
Birddogger Out.
The storyline is pretty well thought-out and portrayed in Tarantino fashion. The flick is 3 hours long, and after a long day of work, I really couldn't take my eyes away. For someone who pays student prices for flicks, I might actually pay the full amount to see this one. Well worth it.
The acting is what really steals the show. Surprisingly it isn't all Brad Pitt although he does very well. Honestly though, he had an easy role. Read some lines that are very well written and add a southern accent, ohh and look like a badass doing it. Easy money.
The acting of Christoph Waltz is what really steals the show. He nailed the role of the antagonist, and for those of you who missed that SAT word, it means bad guy. He makes you both hate and admire his character and that is no easy feat.
There are plenty of signs that remind you that Tarantino made this flick. The best sign of all is the dialog. Somehow, he takes everyday conversation and puts it in a movie. Such a simple concept that is to complex for everyone else.
I originally thought this film was a remake which drives me up the wall. The original Inglorious Bastards had a different plot which completely makes sense. Tarantino takes an idea, adds blood, gore and good dialog, and sticks a good-looking guy or girl in front of the camera and he makes money. It's that easy folks.
This one goes as one of his best. I was really hoping Samuel L. Jackson was going to make an appearance, but he didn't. Ohh well. He will be in the next movie I see, yelling as usual.
If you are looking for an historically accurate flick, this is not your movie. If you are looking for some fun Nazi ass kicking with a side of more Nazi ass kicking, then this one is for you. This flick gets the whole cherry pit (5 out of 5). Woot.
Birddogger Out.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Dis-sick 9
Alright, for starters I would like to point out that I do not have a weak stomach. However, it seems a shaking camera will lead to my demise. The camera in District Nine is similar to a Blair Witch or a Cloverfield, and for some strange reason, I can't take it. I tried, but failed. Failed worse than Howard Dean. Pia!
Unfortunately this means I can't really give the movie a rating. From what I saw, it looked pretty interesting. I mean, I saw the first 45 minutes of the flick and then got the Cliff Notes version of everything else from Baby Girl.
I think I did everyone a favor by leaving. I should be a hero. You remember in the Goonies where Chunk describes how he threw up in a theater? Well, it would have been something like that. An epic scene that is better left un-filmed.
A soon as I exited the theater, I sat on a bench and waited for the world to end it's spinning. That is actually pretty boring, so once it slowed down enough, I jumped into another theater. No, not another District Nine theater, but I a flick I knew I wasn't going to see. Why waste a good movie ticket?
The flick was called Bandslam. I never have even heard of it. It wasn't to bad. I caught the last hour of that flick. I kind of had to play Sherlock Holmes to figure out what was going on, but it wasn't to hard. It was a nice little film, nothing really to exciting. There are some cute girls in it. Always a plus.
There are some other movies out this week that I would like to review. The Time Traveler's Wife and The Goods. So if I watch those there might actually be a review this week. Until then, this is the Birddogger reminding you to get your pets spayed or neutered.
Unfortunately this means I can't really give the movie a rating. From what I saw, it looked pretty interesting. I mean, I saw the first 45 minutes of the flick and then got the Cliff Notes version of everything else from Baby Girl.
I think I did everyone a favor by leaving. I should be a hero. You remember in the Goonies where Chunk describes how he threw up in a theater? Well, it would have been something like that. An epic scene that is better left un-filmed.
A soon as I exited the theater, I sat on a bench and waited for the world to end it's spinning. That is actually pretty boring, so once it slowed down enough, I jumped into another theater. No, not another District Nine theater, but I a flick I knew I wasn't going to see. Why waste a good movie ticket?
The flick was called Bandslam. I never have even heard of it. It wasn't to bad. I caught the last hour of that flick. I kind of had to play Sherlock Holmes to figure out what was going on, but it wasn't to hard. It was a nice little film, nothing really to exciting. There are some cute girls in it. Always a plus.
There are some other movies out this week that I would like to review. The Time Traveler's Wife and The Goods. So if I watch those there might actually be a review this week. Until then, this is the Birddogger reminding you to get your pets spayed or neutered.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Where will Vick end up?
Like I mentioned before, this blog was intended for football purposes. I don't even like movies.
I always have football predictions, and they normally turn out to be true. Unfortunately there is no documentation of this. This blog was the solution.
Just to kick it off, I was a firm believer that Vick was going to play football again. Everybody else thought he as a PR nightmare, but a good athlete is always needed.
Vick was convicted for dog fighting, which I am not an advocate for, but really don't see why it was more relevant than Dante Stallworth committing DUI manslaughter or Plaxico Burress carrying an armed weapon into a club. It isn't like Vick unleashed his dog on the public.
In some countries, they breed dogs for food and then they eat them. It isn't a very pleasant thought, but if you think about it, we do the same to chickens, cows and pigs. But closed minded people like the ones in PETA can do no wrong and blow Vick's case into a PR fiasco, mainly because we don't eat dogs in this country, they are pets. Hey Vick, go somewhere else if you want to do that crap.
Now that my prediction of his return is about to be fulfilled, I must decided on where Mr. Vick will end up. My guess is Washington.
"Why," you might ask? It just makes sense. Washington is a team who's winning strategy is to get big names, unfortunately it doesn't work. Washington isn't the only team who does this, Dallas is a culprit as well as New England. However, those teams have quarterbacks that they have vested a lot of money in. Washington has Campbell who is inconsistent. Money may be the issue with Washington after throwing $100 million at Albert Haynesworth, but I think that just proves my point of them going after big names. I can guarantee you that Washington is not going to win a Super Bowl this year, with or without Vick.
If Washington some how can not find a reason to gather some funds to sign Vick, I can see the Raiders picking him up.
"Why," you might ask? Who the hell knows why the Raiders do half the shit they do? I mean seriously, they have the philosophy of just getting the fastest guys available. If they are not winning, then they don't have enough speed on the field. That hasn't worked out for them either, but what do I know. I just write a damn blog from time to time.
In other news, I got a little of the Hall of Fame Game. It wasn't bad. The fake punt was entertaining. I expect the Titans to do well again this year, but only if they stay healthy. Vince Young needs to prove he isn't a baby anymore, but T.O. is a ticking time bomb that is going to start pointing fingers before the season is over. I am a firm believer that people don't change so I can imagine that both of these characters are going to go through similar events once again.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, injuries are stacking up so watch your fantasy teams. Antoino Bryant, Brandon Marshall, Steve Smith, and T.O. to name a few. I should have some playoff predictions coming soon as I continue to watch more preseason games and any prediction that I have, you better believe it is going up on this thing.
Birddogger Out.
I always have football predictions, and they normally turn out to be true. Unfortunately there is no documentation of this. This blog was the solution.
Just to kick it off, I was a firm believer that Vick was going to play football again. Everybody else thought he as a PR nightmare, but a good athlete is always needed.
Vick was convicted for dog fighting, which I am not an advocate for, but really don't see why it was more relevant than Dante Stallworth committing DUI manslaughter or Plaxico Burress carrying an armed weapon into a club. It isn't like Vick unleashed his dog on the public.
In some countries, they breed dogs for food and then they eat them. It isn't a very pleasant thought, but if you think about it, we do the same to chickens, cows and pigs. But closed minded people like the ones in PETA can do no wrong and blow Vick's case into a PR fiasco, mainly because we don't eat dogs in this country, they are pets. Hey Vick, go somewhere else if you want to do that crap.
Now that my prediction of his return is about to be fulfilled, I must decided on where Mr. Vick will end up. My guess is Washington.
"Why," you might ask? It just makes sense. Washington is a team who's winning strategy is to get big names, unfortunately it doesn't work. Washington isn't the only team who does this, Dallas is a culprit as well as New England. However, those teams have quarterbacks that they have vested a lot of money in. Washington has Campbell who is inconsistent. Money may be the issue with Washington after throwing $100 million at Albert Haynesworth, but I think that just proves my point of them going after big names. I can guarantee you that Washington is not going to win a Super Bowl this year, with or without Vick.
If Washington some how can not find a reason to gather some funds to sign Vick, I can see the Raiders picking him up.
"Why," you might ask? Who the hell knows why the Raiders do half the shit they do? I mean seriously, they have the philosophy of just getting the fastest guys available. If they are not winning, then they don't have enough speed on the field. That hasn't worked out for them either, but what do I know. I just write a damn blog from time to time.
In other news, I got a little of the Hall of Fame Game. It wasn't bad. The fake punt was entertaining. I expect the Titans to do well again this year, but only if they stay healthy. Vince Young needs to prove he isn't a baby anymore, but T.O. is a ticking time bomb that is going to start pointing fingers before the season is over. I am a firm believer that people don't change so I can imagine that both of these characters are going to go through similar events once again.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, injuries are stacking up so watch your fantasy teams. Antoino Bryant, Brandon Marshall, Steve Smith, and T.O. to name a few. I should have some playoff predictions coming soon as I continue to watch more preseason games and any prediction that I have, you better believe it is going up on this thing.
Birddogger Out.
Friday, August 7, 2009
G.I. Lame
I am not sure when Hasbro started getting in the movie making business, but they should quit now. Having Dennis Quaid in a movie doesn't make it Oscar material either. And honestly, how can you have an action flick with Marlon Wayans.
The acting is pretty crappy, and the kid from 3rd rock from the sun isn't very intimidating. Even the action is crappy. I didn't know bullets fired with such velocity underwater.
The story line is also really crappy. The made up technology was kind of cool, but if knowing is half the battle, then these Joes were mother fucking psychics. They came to dramatic conclusions about situations real quickly.
Flashbacks were also used to explain some back story, except they take 6 of them to try and tell you something. I would rather get it the first time, flashbacks shouldn't be a buffet were I have to go back for seconds just to feel that I got my money's worth.
The movie did get one thing right though. Guys love hot girls and ninjas. That is about the only thing that this flick has going for it. Sports bras, tight leather suits, and epic kung fu battles. They should really just make a movie with chicks and ninjas and leave out the all American hero theme.
Because I have a crush on one of the chicks, this flick gets a one night stand out of a cherry pit (2 out of 5).
The acting is pretty crappy, and the kid from 3rd rock from the sun isn't very intimidating. Even the action is crappy. I didn't know bullets fired with such velocity underwater.
The story line is also really crappy. The made up technology was kind of cool, but if knowing is half the battle, then these Joes were mother fucking psychics. They came to dramatic conclusions about situations real quickly.
Flashbacks were also used to explain some back story, except they take 6 of them to try and tell you something. I would rather get it the first time, flashbacks shouldn't be a buffet were I have to go back for seconds just to feel that I got my money's worth.
The movie did get one thing right though. Guys love hot girls and ninjas. That is about the only thing that this flick has going for it. Sports bras, tight leather suits, and epic kung fu battles. They should really just make a movie with chicks and ninjas and leave out the all American hero theme.
Because I have a crush on one of the chicks, this flick gets a one night stand out of a cherry pit (2 out of 5).
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