Avatar worth the hype?

Ok. So this movie is something we have all been hearing about for several months. In fact, I had some people asking me if I had seen it already. Well, it didn't come out till today but that doesn't mean I haven't seen it before.

Avatar is a flick where some greedy mother fucker finds some mineral that is worth a shit load of money on this foreign planet. There are a group of scientist who try to study the planet and it's people. Greed gets in the way, some get sentimental, war breaks out. Shit hits fan. Yep. Sounds like a story that has been done before.

In fact, that is one of the issues I had with it. It is like they took the ideas for several movies and rolled them into one. If you have seen any of the following items, then you have an idea on how this one goes. Lion King, Last of the Mohicans, Braveheart, Pocahontas, Michael Jackson's Billy Jean Video, Titanic, The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe or know the American History of the Trail of Tears.

Not only is the story a knockoff, but you can find other knockoff concepts throughout the flick. From the airships to the animals, you can find a reference to almost everything.

I guess what I am trying to say is this movie screamed the whole time it was promoted that was something new and original. Lies I tell you... All lies!

Overall though, the movie wasn't that badly done. There is so many computer generated effects it would make a video game jealous. They are pretty to look at and they do mesh well with the live action shots.

Unfortunately, I can not say the same about the acting. It is horrible. That is all I am going to say about that.

This movie boast the direction of James Cameron, but that really doesn't help either. While watching his famous work Titanic, it took two hours before the ship finally started to sink. We all knew it was coming, there was no surprise. The damn storyline moved as fast as the damn iceberg. Avatar is no different. You know war is coming, it is inevitable, and the damn previews told me it was going to happen. But to get to that part, I got to sit through 2 hours of sexual tension. Yup, just like Titanic.

So, the bottom line. Should you see this flick. It is three hours worth seeing, but only once, at a matinee price. Three hours is a long time to be sitting there. I bet some people probably think it is the greatest movie made this year. I know because I heard them saying that as I exited the theater. If you like to be spoon-fed someone else's left-overs, then yeah, it is pretty good.

This movie gets a one night stand out of a cherry pit (2 out of 5). Cameron may have brought us Terminator, but everything else he has brought us has sunk.

Birddogger Out.

The Blind Side is the Good Side

For starters, I didn't go see the new Twilight film. I will admit that I considered it. If there was a movie to be reviewed this week, New Moon was probably it. Or so I thought. However, there was no way on this planet that I was going to wait in line with a bunch of lunatics and wait to buy tickets early. Regardless, when I got to the theater, the damn show was sold out. So no Twilight review.

I also hate sports movies, but The Blind Side was an option to see this week. So Baby Girl and I thought that would be the one we would see. Guess what? It wasn't sold out.

The Blind Side is the story Michael Oher, an under-privileged teen who has nothing more than a pair of shorts and two shirts. However, a loving family takes him in and he soon becomes not only loved, but a great athlete as well. It is based on a true story of the real Michael Oher who is now playing football professionally with the Baltimore Ravens.

The story line is written by history, so there is no reason to really talk about it. It is a great, heart warming story. Period. No Mas.

The film was done really well. So well, it doesn't over shadow the story line at all, but instead lets the characters shine. The movie also keeps you entertained for the whole time that you are in there. You really start to feel for the characters... or maybe that is just the sappy romantic side of me.

The acting was phenomenal. I fell in love with Sandra Bullock. She was absolutely amazing. Not to mention she looks amazing too. She really steals the show, and Quentin Aaron does a great job too. I chuckled when I saw Tim McGraw's name in the opening credits. It was all in my head, and I thought about it over and over again. I replayed it over and over again, and I couldn't shake it. I wondered if I could take this flick seriously with him in it. Yup. He wasn't bad, and when he was, having Bullock by his side made him look good.

So, as I said before, I can't stand sports movies, but this one really wasn't a sports movie at all. It did have some famous couches (chuckle, chuckle). I couldn't help but shout two alphabet letters when Lou Holtz showed his face, nor could I help but stick up my middle fingers when Nick Saban showed his. Although football plays an important part of this flick, it has very little football at all.

The only negative I have with this movie. Two words. Nick Saban. I really don't like that guy.

I can't help but give this flick a full cherry pit (5 out of 5). Was it what I expected? Hell no... it was so much more.

Birddogger Out.

I don't even know when All Saints Day is.

Just FYI, if you go to see a sequel, make sure you see the first one. I felt like the odd man out tonight. You ever gone out with a group of people that you have met recently, but they are all really close? And then they start talking about inside jokes and you just kind of smile cause you have no idea what is going on? It is kind of like that.

Or if you are standing around a bunch of friends and they are talking in a foreign language and erupt in laughter from time to time. You know what they said was funny, but you don't speak the damn language so you really have no idea. Yep. That was me tonight.

However, On with the review.

Boondock Saints 2 is about the return of two vigilante Irish brothers who are enticed to come back to the states after a priest is killed in their famous style. It is a unique story line that tries to take up where the other possibly left off. The plot also could have come out of left field, I don't know, but I kind of bought into the story line. It wasn't that bad.

The way the movie was made was bad. (Lots of "the"s and "was"s in that sentence. I really don't give a damn) It seemed sloppy. There are random flashbacks and unnecessary scenes throughout the movie that made me raise an eyebrow from time to time.

The acting really was pretty good. They overplayed the role of the Mexican guy. He is the comic relief that the camera loves when you would rather focus on something else going on in the flick. Remember Jar Jar in Star Wars, yeah, that kind of annoying.

The dialog steals the show. It is written in a Tarantino like fashion. Natural dialog, and I loved it. This movie did remind me a lot of Pulp Fiction in a way that it is a serious flick, with some funny ass dialog. Unfortunately, this was my first experience with this flick, so I took it seriously, esp. since I didn't understand many of the inside jokes. If I were to watch it again, I would definitely find it more humorous.

Also, I got a crush on the chick in this movie. She is smoking hot in here business outfits. Call her Mike Tyson cause I thought she was a knockout. I think I liked her attitude the most. Yup, definitely the attitude.

So meanwhile, back at the ranch, I have to rate this movie. I have to admit I was entertained. There was some stuff that I thought they did really badly, but overall, I have to give this flick a threesome out of a cherry pit (3 out of 5).

Should have went to see 2012. Ohh well, life goes on.

Birddogger out.

I might stare at a goat from time to time

It has been a while since I have written a review. I might be as rusty as the tin man on this shit and there really isn't a oil can to grease me down anywhere. SO BARE WITH ME.

Alright, so the title kind of says it all. This movie is weird. It is not your typical flick.

Storyline goes about a reporter who finds George Clooney who is a nut who thinks he has super powers... or does he? So they go through a little adventure with some flashbacks to explain some things here and there.

The thing that sucked about this movie, is the thing I just wrote about. The storyline is wild and way out there. It is kind of like watching an episode of Seinfeld, it almost feels that the movie is about nothing.

The movie itself also isn't very well done. The scenery is boring, the layout of events gets boring at times, and it is a quiet flick so no real music or noise gets boring. Yeah, I have had more interesting car rides that some of the stuff just mentioned.

I am really glad they went all out as far as actors go. They all did well. That aspect of the flick kind of helps things.

Also, when they do play music, it some tunes you normally don't hear in movies. That is a big relief too.

The humor in this movie steals the show, or what is left of the show. It is a very clever dry humor. I would be lying if I said I was so bored I fell asleep. Although I did catch Baby Girl snoring. I was laughing. The flick was funny. Weird, but funny.

I am struggling on giving this one a score. The only reason is that I have watched funny movies like this, i.e. Super Troopers and Old School, and thought they sucked. But after the second or third time I watched them, turned out they were pretty funny. I can see this movie being one of those.

Point is, I might like it if I watched it again. Is it bad... I have seen worse.... Is it good.... I may not go there just yet. I am giving this movie a straight down the middle answer. This flick gets a threesome out of a cherry pit (3 out of 5).

Birddogger out.

Week 8 NFL Picks

Alright, I know this is late... so you can quit bugging me about it. I am also aware that there is no movie review this week. The only movie worth watching this week was Boondock Saints 2... and they aren't even showing it my fucking area. I even live in a big metropolitan area... but nope, we are good enough. I blame the local NFL team. It is their fault. In fact I am going place of play and boo them tomorrow.

And yeah, I sucked it up last week... and fell further behind San Antonio... and Baby Girl is catching up. Lame. I really have to step it up like Mike Tyson's acting in the Hangover.

Sunday's Games

Texans @ Bills

The Texans are looking pretty good recently... and the Bills, not so much. Bills remind me of a stripper over $40. It isn't that great, but you will take it for the discounted price. Texans should wrap up before they take the plunge, but they will come out with a clean win.

Browns @ Bears

I still don't think the Bears are that great, but the Browns are worse. Bears should have no trouble.

Seahawks @ Cowboys

Alright, the Hawks are really inconsistent... but so are the Boys. Yeah, the Boys beat the Falcons, but that doesn't mean shit. This year has been the year for former players to kill their opposing teams. Shockey to the Giants... Farve to the Packers... Benson to the Bears... I think Julius Jones will kick the crap out of the Boys. Sorry Cowgirls, come back next Sunday.

Rams @ Lions

Rams still suck... Lions do too. But the Lions have a win. But the Rams have Steven Jackson. I am actually going to pick the Rams. I think they can muster one out... but just one.

Niners @ Colts

The Niners have been the most disappointing team of the year. They do a great job of making baby Jesus cry. Do they stand a chance against the Colts.... I think so. Why? Because of the new faith in an old flame. Alex Smith will give the Colts their first lose. Laugh if you want, but I think I will be right on this one. Upset Special!

Dolphins @ Jets

Dolphins have put up a great fight against the greatest teams in the league this year. The Jets are not one of those teams. In fact, they beat the Jets already. I expect a sequel.

Broncos @ Ravens

The Ravens seem to be falling apart in my eyes. The Broncos are so hot, you need tongs to touch them. Ravens will figure this out pretty quick.

Giants @ Eagles

Eagles are coming back strong. Giants are on the down hill. The NFC is starting to look competitive within. I am taking the Eagles. Giants need to find some way to start playing better. This week is not there week. That is what Marvin Gaye and I heard from the grapevine.

Jaguars @ Titans

Titans look like shit. Except white and baby blue shit. Jags don't look great either, but they should be beat the Titans. All they have to do is tell Vince Young he sucks. He will break down and it will be smooth sailing after that.

Raiders @ Chargers

I picked the Raiders and it cost me. I am not making that mistake again. Chargers going to run over them like the Jets. Car crash they are probably going to play on CBS just because they have a knack for showing the worst possible game on.

Vikings @ Packers

A sequel I see ending the same. Farve will come out with some cool toys, save the world with the help of a friend. There will be smoking hot girl and the world will be saved. Maybe that is how all the Bond movies are, but this one should go along the same lines. Same shit, different stadium.

Panthers @ Cardinals

Cardinals looked good last week, and I don't see those looks changes. They didn't even shower. Kept all their makeup on. I look for a repeat performance and a standing ovation from a red sea.

Monday's Game

Falcons @ Saints

The Dolphins had the best shot at beating the Saints. They are showing to be unstoppable. If the Falcons lost to the Cowgirls, then they are weak sauce. Saints are doing some Cajun cooking where weak sauce is tossed out for the spicy shit. Falcons don't stand a chance, 35-10

Birddogger Out.

Week 7 NFL Picks

So, in case you were wondering... there was no movie review this week. No that is not an accident. I did not see a flick this week due to an interference with plans. Reviews should continue next week. Besides, I needed a break from movies... they all start to become one in my mind after some time.

San Antonio had a huge week! He is now furthered himself away from Baby Girl and myself. This is no good. I must redeem my pick 'em manhood.

Sunday's Games:

Packers @ Browns

Browns are still trying to figure out what the hell they are going to do. They did just win last week though, and I did not see that one coming. Packers are a better team than the Bills, so I don't see a streak happening for Cleveland.

Chargers @ Chiefs

Chiefs are gaining confidence each week. I don't think the Chargers are that great of a team. I think this one should be close, but I don't see the Chargers choking again. I look for them to pull this one off.

Niners @ Texans

The Niners have been disappointing me lately. I know they are a decent team. The Texans are the best mediocre team in NFL history. They are so inconsistent. I think the Niners will take it to them as the begin to make a run for a division title.

Colts @ Rams

Colts aren't a great team, although their record begs to differ. However, the suck fairy is with the Rams (hmm... maybe having a suck fairy isn't so bad... ;). So, I expect Jackson to try and carry the Rams to victory, but he won't succeed. I like the Colts.

Vikings @ Steelers

Alright, I still think I am the only one who believes the Steelers are not that great. I am sticking to it as I am picking Minnesota to win. Pittsburgh still has a lousy running game and the defensive line of the Vikes is going to give Big Ben hell. Hey, I was right about the Giants-Saints game, don't be surprised if I am right about this one.

Pats @ Bucs

So Tom Brady made the crappy Titans look worse. Now everybody is saying Tom is back, and the league better be ready again. And this week will fuel is ego even more. He is going to sink the bucs. They don't stand a chance. But don't buy into the Pats stock just yet. My left testicle puts up the kind of numbers that Tom did against crappy teams too.

Bills @ Panthers

Panthers hands down. The Bills looked good at the beginning of this season, but they have unraveled faster than Saturday Night Live. They just plain suck right now. And the loss of their QB isn't going to help either.

Jets @ Raiders

I want to see the Raiders play again. I have only seen it once and they looked like crap. I think they have a fire in their ass and gaining confidence in themselves. Is it enough to stop the Jets? Sanchez is starting to struggle, and starting to look like a rookie. I am going to go on a limb and say I think the Raiders have shot. Not a great one, and they could easily get killed.

Bears @ Bengals

This is one of the better games this week. The Bengals have been red hot and the Bears haven't looked bad either. I think the Bengals take this one just because I have a feeling that the Bears are about to wake up from their happy dreams.

Falcons @ Cowboys

This game is a joke. The Falcons are a legit team and they are going to kill the Cowboys. It is going to be sad and Tony Romo might cry in his helmet. There will be no happy times in Dallas this week.

Saints @ Dolphins

The Phins are a great team. They play like a team. They are a team. The Saints are really f-ing good. This is going to be a great game to watch. The Saints better get ready for a rumble. I think the Dolphins and Vikings are the only two teams that really stand a chance against these Saints. I say the Phins can pull off the win. Don't be surprised if they do.

Cardinals @ Giants

I still have doubts against the Cardinals, but I still the Giants are not that great. I am going to say the Cardinals are going to win this one. Warner better not fuck it up for me.

Monday Night Game:

Eagles @ Skins

Neither team is very impressive right now. But since I have to choose, I am picking the Eagles. I don't see the Skins pulling out any time soon. It will be a blow-out and the Eagles will be the team we thought they were.

Eagles win 33-14

So there we go. My road to redemption begins here. San Antonio look out. The Birddogger is coming

Birddogger out.

Week 6 NFL Picks

The Birddogger has came on top last week with 8 correct predictions. Two of them being Denver over the Patriots and the key one, the Dolphins over the Jets. However, it wasn't enough to put me over the lead of San Antonio who is till one game up. Baby Girl is still a few games behind, and is waiting for his time to jump ahead of us.



Without further ado, lets get into this weeks match-ups.



Sunday's Games:



Texans @ Bengals



I think I am going to start taking sips of this Cincinatti kool-aid. Ochocinco still impresses me and this team keeps getting wins. The Texans have been real inconsistent and I think this time will be no different. Bengals add another win to their streak.



Lions @ Packers



Alright, I got a lot of shit last week for picking the Lions over the Steelers. People thought it was ludicrous, until the saw the score. The Lions held their own. It was not a blow-out like so many people thought it was going to be. The Packers are well rested coming off their bye week, but I don't know if that offensive line needs any rest, they get plenty of that on Sunday when they let the defensive linemen by them. I think this game will be close too, closer than the Steeler game, but I think the Packers are going to play harder for the divisional win.



Ravens @ Vikings



I haven't heard a lot about this match up this week I am not real sure why. I think these are two high caliper teams that bring a lot to the table. The Ravens have something to prove after the Patriot loss and I think they will get to the Vikings. I don't think the Raven defense is what it was from back in the day, but as long as Ray Lewis is on that team, they will not lose intensity. The Vikings are equally talented on both sides of the ball, but I feel the Ravens want this, and need this more.



Giants @ Saints



Now hear is a game I am sick of hearing about. Let's get one thing straight, the Giants are not who they were two years ago. They are ok, and should make the playoffs. I haven't seen anything that shows a championship team. They are very well coached, but the talent level is lacking. The Saints are also well coached, and the talent level is high.... very high. Pot heads wish they were this high. The Saints are real, and I don't even expect this game to be close.



Panthers @ Buccaneers



Tampa Bay is still win-less. They are having identity issues. The Panthers are trying to live up to a hype and haven't done so well recently. Both teams are struggling and are in need of a re-building year. I am going to say that Tampa Bay is going to win this one. If they don't win, they will get blown out. But if they play decent, they can put down the Panthers.



Chiefs @ Redskins



The Redskins suck. The Chiefs suck. Kansas City did almost beat the Cowboys who suck as well. I think KC can beat the skins. A little sign of hope against an over-rated team should lead to enough confidence to beat the Skins.



Rams @ Jaguars



The Rams, in my opinion, are the worst team in the league. At least the Raiders have shit-load of talent, Rams have Steven Jackson. Jaguars should win this game pretty easily. Rams are having a hard enough time with Rush Limbaugh.



Browns @ Steelers



Browns are having issues. The Steelers had a tough time with the Lions. Lets not forget that. I think the Browns know they need to rebuild, and have accepted that. For that reason, I think the Steelers will still struggle a little bit, but they will come up with the win.



Cardinals @ Seahawks



Alright, I can't figure out these Seahawks. One week they suck, the next they rock. The Cardinals are a talent based team with mediocre coaching. I think the Seahawks will pull this one off. Something tells me they have some steak in this one and are in need of proving they are a threat in this division.



Eagles @ Raiders



To I really have to talk about this one. The Raiders are hurting, especially the coach that got punched. Unless the Eagles don't even bother to show up, the Raiders are in for an ass kicking.



Bills @ Jets

Miami stopped the Jets and the need this win for divisional purposes. The Bills are hurting, but I don't think they will pull this one out. The Jets will be to motivated to come out with a win.

Titans @ Patriots

If Hanyesworth was still wearing the T on his helmet, I would say that could beat the Pats. Since this isn't the case, I think the Patriots will put a good fight. However, I don't think it will be enough. The Pats are still trying to put together a defense that will stand a fighting chance. I don't know what it will take for people to finally admit the Pats are on a downhill slope. Apparently much more than a lose to Denver. I think this will be the one that shows the dynasty has come to an end.

Bears @ Falcons

The Falcons are heavily favored in this one. I think they are good, but they aren't great. In fact, I think these two teams are on the same level. This should be a good game. As for who is coming out on top? Man, it's a tough choice. I will have to consult the magic eight ball on this one... shake shake shake.... It says "Don't count on it." hmm... damn ball ain't magic at all. So I will go with the Bears.

Monday's Game:

Broncos @ Chargers

Chargers have to readjust their game plan. It isn't working. They need to come up with one that takes advantage of the talent they have. Until they do that, they will not be the team they were not that long ago. People are finally jumping on this wagon. I think they are the real deal. Determination fuels their fire, and their confidence is going through the roof. I expect them not to fall here. They will win 24 to 13.

So I hope this picks will force the fall of San Antonio and his Alamo fortress. The Birddogger army is coming. You better get ready.

Birddogger out.

Birddogger is a fan of the Law Abiding Citizen

That's right. The title of this post should say it all. The rest is just details. If your interested, just follow along. One you hear the chimes, turn the page.

Law Abiding Citizen is a story of a man who loses his family, takes the bad guys to trial, and one gets away on a deal and the other gets the death penalty. The deal pisses Gerard Butler off and then shit hits fan. I am not talking any fan either, it's like one of those big ass box fans that sprays a mist while it blows. The huge ones that football teams use to cool off their players.

The setting is Philadelphia, which is ironic because it is the city of brotherly love. Ha... ask any football team that goes and plays the Eagles if they get the brotherly treatment while they are there.

Okay, so the setting isn't what makes this flick, and I need to get off the football analogies.

From the very beginning, this movie takes you on a roller coaster of events. I am not talking little kiddy ones, I mean like the Texas Giant size. Last week, I talked about how Couples Retreat tried to pull at my emotions, but failed miserably. This movie had no problem getting at me in the first five minutes. And it doesn't stop there.

The movie has so many twist, you are constantly looking for something to go wrong. Because of this, you are forced into the story line. Forced to watch, forced to find a conclusion. Jedi's don't even use this kind of force.

The acting helps this force. They did a great job. I can only think of one actor who did kind of piss poor, but he doesn't play a significant roll or anything. Butler and Foxx do such a great job, you really don't know who to cheer for. It's awesome.

This flick is truly unique in the fact that it takes you on a thriller ride like the Saw movies, gives you the suspense similar to the movie Seven, and adds a little bit of Shawshank Redemption into it.

I honestly can't find anything wrong with this flick. I thought the preview may have given to much away... but it didn't. It was very well done. When I got out of this flick, my breath was taken away. What a rush. Ohh yeah... it was that good ;)

This flick gets the whole Cherry Pit (5 out of 5). This one is going into the private collection when it gets to DVD. Yeah, I don't have a blu-ray player yet. Stop hating, I'll get one soon.

Birddogger out.

Ohh yeah, Brrrinng.... (chimes)....

Week 5 NFL Picks

San Antonio is still in the lead by two, but I plan on overtaking him shortly. Baby Girl is still trying to make up ground.

I have to say, I did a lot better last week. word. I am just taking it one week at a time, giving a lot of thought into each prediction and sticking to my guns 110%.

Alright, so lets go around this weeks match ups.

Sunday's Games:

Browns @ Bills

This one is going to be a tough one to call. I originally liked the Bills at first, but after getting their asses handed to them by the Dolphins, they seem to be in a little rut. Will they come out of it? That is the question. The Browns have problems though, but I think they are further on the suck meter. The Bills will have a tough time, but I think T.O. may smile after this is said and done.

Steelers @ Lions

Steelers still don't look that great. They look ok, but that is it. I may be the only person saying this, but I think it is time for that team to begin to panic a little bit. Should they be scared of Lions? I think so. I think the Lions have already made this season successful by winning one game. They have nothing to lose now as the suck fairy is making an appearance in St. Louis. I think the Lions are going to put up a fight, and I think they are going to win. Steelers won last week and I don't think they are going to take Detroit seriously. I think this will be an upset.

Cowboys @ Chiefs

Speaking of upsets, wouldn't this one be great. I have said the Cowboys are over-rated, but are they so over-rated that they lose to the Chiefs? I am not feeling this one. The Chiefs suck way more than the Cowboys. Don't be surprised if the Cowboys run-a-way with this one. The running of the Boys should but KC in a bind and it may even open up the passing game to make Romo look good and give Cowboys fan hopes that the is still the second coming of Jesus.

Vikings @ Rams

I think I already mentioned the suck fairy is under the Rams pillow right now. I don't see the Vikings having any trouble in this one. If you have Farve as a back up fantasy player, you might want to start him. Him and Peterson are going to have an elementary field day with the Rams.

Raiders @ Giants

Oakland has a problem, they have no passing game. Yup, they are near the same boat as the Cowboys and their running game has suffered because of it. McFadden can't carry that team alone. Giants still look like a decent team. I think they are going on the decline a little bit, but they shouldn't have any problems at home.

Bucs @ Eagles

Eagles are still doing well, and they are going to get Mcnabb and Westbrook back. The Bucs are still drowning and looking for that life persevere ring. To bad they got rid of their lifeguard on duty Jeff Garcia. Eagles should have no problem.

Skins @ Panthers

The Redskins have had a hell of time recently. The Panthers are a decent team and they are coming off a bye week. I like them in this match up, esp. against a Haynesworthless Washington team. haha

Bengals @ Ravens

Ravens are a team that I believe are at the top of their game. Bengals are playing well and this is a divisional rivalry game. Should be good, should be close, and Ochocinco will make it interesting. But I see the Ravens coming out on top.

Falcons @ Niners

Falcons are coming off a bye week too... but they need that rest for the hard hitting Niners. I like the Niners, they are legit. Smash mouth, well coached, beat your face football is what they bring every game. Falcons better be ready for an ass kicking.

Jaguars @ Seahawks

People are on Seattles boat, and I don't know why? Maybe it was the uniforms they wore last week. Jaguars still have some problems of their own though, but I think they will beat the Seahawks.

Houston @ Arizona

The Cardinals are struggling and a 1-2 record shows it. I think they are going to struggle with this one too. The Texans young team just needs a little more direction and they should be solid. The Cards are running on a talent driven team that isn't delivering at the moment.

Patriots @ Broncos

Am I the only one seeing the Pats as only a decent team? Is it going unnoticed that they just signed Junior Seau? They are struggling, and they are trying to keep a winning team intact. Denver on the other hand is probably the least respected team in the league right now. An undefeated record and they are still the underdog in this match up. They are talent driven, and they are have talent. Brandon Marshall won the game for them last week, and I called it! I say they will keep it close and they will win! How could I say this? I think the Pats defense is just as bad as Dallas' defense and they won't be able to make the key stop.

Colts @ Titans

The Colts won't be able to stop the run, but that hasn't stop them from winning yet. Tennessee is in a hole and I don't see them coming out of it this week.

Monday's Game:

Jets @ Dolphins

This division rivalry is second to none. Some of the best Monday night games star these two teams, I and believe me if you watch the game, that statement will be made. It will get old fast, but know you heard it here first. But anyway, the Phins are coming off a commanding win. They look like the Phins of last year. Well coached, good game plan, nothing fancy except some wildcat here and there. The Jets learned they are human last week as the Saints schooled them. The Phins are no Saints, but they weren't last year either and won the division. I think the Phins will continue the momentum and stop the Jets 27-23.

I feel I picked a lot of upsets this week, but that is what my gut tells me. Most of the upsets I picked last week were correct. I think this week should be more of the same.

Birddogger out.

Is Couples worth the Retreat?

Let's get this straight. Did I laugh, yup. Was I entertained, Yup. Did I get emotional, not really but they tried.

The movie seemed self-explanatory if you have seen the previews. A group of couples end up going to a resort for couples therapy without them really expecting the therapy part. The story line seems like it can be promising, but the problem is it takes you on a roller coaster. One minute your laughing, but in the next minute things get real serious. It flip-flops more than politicians and it gets kind of annoying.

The acting is phenomenal though. I wouldn't have guessed it either. I thought they were going for the whole lets put all the apples in the basket and hope one might shine more than the others. This was not the case. They all shined like ripe ass fruit. Like see your reflection in the bitch shine. Like you might reconsider eating it and try to frame the mother fucker but you can't because it is in an odd as shape you already took off the top stem out of habit.

The set was well done. The movie was well done. There was some good lines, and not everything was spoiled by the trailer. In fact, there was a different problem with the trailer. You have to see the trailer or you will be lost in this film.

Why would I say such a thing? In the trailer it shows Jon Favreau hitting on a waitress and getting it on in the bathroom with her, and his wife played by Kristin Davis getting it on in a SUV with a guy she met at the gym. The point of that scene is to show what kind of marriage they have and the adultery that goes on. However, that part is cut out of the flick. Which is okay by me, but they expect you to know that there relationship is full of cheating anyway.

The point is that is movie is a good time, and a good date movie. If you are looking for something amazing, this isn't it. I am giving this flick a threesome out of a cherry pit (3 out of 5).

Birddogger out.

NFL Week 4 Picks

So, I sucked it up last week. San Antonio took the lead in the standing, but I am pulling a strong second. Baby Girl forgot to make his picks so he fell behind. To bad, so sad.

You smell that? I smell a comeback!

Sunday's Games

Lions @ Bears

The Bears are starting to prove they are a true threat. And they do not have Urlacher and they are still finding ways to win. I think they will find a way to win this one too.

Bengals @ Browns

The Browns are in a horrible spot. They just changed quarterbacks and the team does not respect the coach. The Bengals have been on fire. I have gained a lot of respect for Ochocinco recently, and I think he will have no problem making the Browns look foolish in pink.

Seahawks @ Colts

So the Colts beat the Cardinals last week. Why? I am not so sure. Probably Peyton Manning. Can he beat teh Seahawks. Ohh yeah, especially without Hasselbeck.

Giants @ Chiefs

Still no contest. Chiefs have no real chance.

Bucs @ Skins

Finally a game worth talking about. The Buccaneers aren't doing well this year, and I hear they are pulling out Leftwich. Team definetly has some issues. The other side of the coin is really no different. Jim Zorn is really on the hot seat. I mean, come on, they lost to the Lions last week. I actually like the Buccaneers in this one. I really have no idea why, but I think they are going to expose a Haynesworth less Skins for what they are... a joke.

Titans @ Jags

I think the Titans are the real deal. They have come to close to winning all to often. I think they will finally get their first win here.

Raiders @ Texans

I have just about given up on the Raiders. I don't even know why I believed in the first place. Such a dissapointment. Texans should slaughter them like cattle. Raider Jerkey, coming up!

Ravens @ Patriots

I heard the argument that the Patriots are prepared for the Ravens after playing the Jets because they run similar defenses. I don't buy it. Patriots are not who they thought they were. I thought the Falcons would put up a fight, but they didn't... However, I think Ray Lewis likes Brady Sandwiches for breakfast.

Jets @ Saints

The Jets look good, but so do the Saints. This one is a tough one to call. I think the Saints are for real though, not to say the Jets aren't. This will be a close game. I think the Saints have a slight advantage being that they are not only the home team, but they have played together longer. I think this small edge is all it takes for me to pick them as the winner.

Bills @ Dolphins

The Dolphins are in trouble with the falling of Pennington. However, the lack of players has not stopped this team from competing. Buffalo was looking good, till last week. I think the Phins will get their first win here.

Cowboys @ Broncos

Alright, Denver is still doing their Sunday prayers and it is working. Dallas is struggling without a passing game, and there fabulous running game is running dry as their backs are wearing down with injuries. I think Denver has something to prove and will come out on top.

Rams @ Niners

Niners are still for real. The Rams not so much.

Chargers @ Steelers

The Steelers finally put a decent running game together last week. However, it wasn't enough to beat the Bengals. I think the Chargers want to win just as bad. I think they need to prove that they are a decent team. Steelers better watch out.

Monday's Game:

Packers @ Vikings

Vikes are at home. The Vikes are clearly the better team. I think they are going to show everyone this on Monday. It will be a good game though. Not great though. I am guessing 24 to 14 Vikes.

Alright, I got to do better than last week. Hopefully things will go my way.

Birddogger Out.

Zombies Everywhere.

Ohh yeah, Woody Harrelson is a bad-ass.

I am not sure how to start this review, so I figured the above statement was appropriate.

Zombieland is exactly what the previews made it out to be. Some virus infects people and then a great majority of the population become flesh eating Zombies.

The story line has you follow this square kid and watch him go through the troubles of survival. Along the way he meets Harrelson, and he plays the bad-ass you want him to be. Other than that, there really isn't much to story line.

The acting is really good though. Did I mention Harrelson is a bad-ass? Jesse Eisenberg plays the same roll he did in Adventureland, and he plays that role pretty well. Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin are supposed to be sisters, but they really don't do so well at making me believe that. There is a fake sense of love there, but Harrelson and Eisenberg steal the show so it really isn't that bad.

The set of this movie couldn't have been any better. They really nailed the costumes and the scenery. If such events were actually do to take place, I am sure it would like the what the film portrayed. Very well done.

However, two things really hurt this movie in my opinion. The previews show to many favorable parts so as one approaches, you already know what to expect. My second issue is with the dialog. It seemed like they were trying to go for witty punchlines, but they tried to hard. You know what I mean. We all know the guy who is trying to be cool, but he tries so hard it is freaking annoying. The dialog is that guy.

I thought the movie was funny, but it could have been a lot more funnier if the two issues mentioned weren't a problem. Since that is the case, this film gets an orgy out of a cherry pit (4 out of 5).

Birddogger out.

Picks for Week 3 of the NFL

Alright, so after two weeks, the competition is heating up. Baby girl is in first by two. I am in second with 21 correct picks and San Antonio has seen better days as he is coming in last with 20 correct. Let's see if the lead can be held after this week. I sense a change in command.

Sunday's Games:

Steelers @ Bengals

So the Steelers got beat last week. They still can't run like they used too. Such a shame. Bengals did beat Green Bay. Do I think they have enough to beat the Steelers, No sir! Bengals have a shot, but I don't see it happening. I see Pittsburgh finding a way to win this one.

Washington @ Detroit

Alright, some analyst have picked the Lions to win this one. I am not sure if I am buying it. The Skins do look bad, and so do the Lions. I say the Skins are going to win. Sorry Lions, maybe next time.

Packers @ Rams

Packers took a tough loss last week and got Lambeau Leaped by Ochocinco. I say Steven Jackson is going to have a field day and the Packers are going to let him. Rams all over this one.

Niners @ Vikings

The game everyone is talking about. The one worth watching. Here is how it is going to go down. Adrian Peterson is still the purple heart and soul of that team. But the Niners play like a team. The Niners want to win as one. Not even Michael CRABtree and phase them. I don't think Peterson can beat this team. They play smash mouth football, and it works. They are who I thought they were, and the will over come the purple people eater.

Falcons @ Patriots

The Patriots are untouchable no more. They can be beaten. I think they will be beaten again. Atlanta is the real deal. The Patriots are in trouble. To bad so sad. Maybe they will start cheating again.

Titans at Jets

This one is going to be a good match up. The Titans have had two really close games. I think they have something to prove and this one will be it. I think they will take down the Jets.

Chiefs at Eagles

Chiefs need to visit a witch doctor to help them out. They are struggling. They need a someone to save them. But Jesus goes to church on Sundays, so they are out of luck. Eagles got this one.

Giants @ Bucs

Yeah, it's the Bucs. Yeah, they suck. Giants win. No explanation needed.

Browns @ Ravens

Ravens are the real deal. If Rivers can have a career day and still get beat, that has to tell you something. They have the pieces of being a great team. The Browns, not so much.

Jaguars @ Texans

Texans proved last week that they have trouble stopping the run. This is probably going to be one of the better games this weekend. It will be a good match up. As far as a winner goes... you might have better luck flipping a coin. I say Jacksonville is going to win their first.

Bears @ Seahawks

I might have to take the Bears on this one. The only reason why? Hasselbeck is out. The Seahawks are a much better team, but without Hasselbeck, I don't think they have much of a chance. I hope they prove me wrong, but Chicago wins this one.

Saints @ Bills

The Bills are proving that they have a decent team this year. They have a unique no huddle offense that I actually kind of like. They are making do without Lynch and being very productive. But the Saints are going to keep marching. They remind me of the greatest show on turf. I expect them to march over the Bills.

Broncos @ Raiders

Broncos are currently undefeated, but that ends with the Raiders. Oakland has to much talent and Denver won't be so lucky this time. Oakland just needs to find a way to put their talents to use and they could be a powerhouse in this league. When will that happen? The magic eight ball doesn't give me numbers. :(

Dolphins @ Chargers

The Dolphins showed they can win with their team last week, but they didn't. They rookie corners are about to get lit up again by Rivers. But the Chargers can't really stop surprises, and the Dolphins have plenty of those. I expect a close game, but I think Sproles will be the difference maker and bring it home for San Diego.

Colts @ Cardinals

This one is also going to be close. I think last week showed that the Colts have no defense. Since this is the case, I am going with Arizona. I expect the run game will open up the pass game for the Cardinals and Peyton will have a little tougher time than he did in Miami.

Monday's Game:

Panthers @ Cowboys

Alright, so the Cowboys could have beat the Giants last game. Eli definitely one that game for them. I think Delhomme will have to win this game for the Panthers. Can he do it? Hell Yeah! Can the Cowboys choke? Hell Yeah. I see this game as Carolina's to lose. 24-21 Panthers Win.

There you go. My picks

Birddogger Out.

Surro-great?

Alright. I am actually going to review this flick. I don't feel like I have actually reviewed a flick in sometime. I mean, I have written about a movie, but have yet to give a score. So this one I am going to score. Yeah... score...

This flick is a science fiction flick. If you are thinking it is like IRobot, it is kind of... but it isn't. There are robots around, and there is a deep moralistic undertone that goes along with the movie. The storyline isn't to bad, however, there are parts where I feel it was lacking. Not lacking in the sense of content, but in the sense of time. The flick seems to have been drawn from time to time for unnecessary reasons. This concept is hard to explain, so let me put it like this.

Say you are watching TV late at night, and one of those Girls Gone Wild commercial airs... It actually turns out to be an hour special on the latest spring break. So the paid advertisement gives the viewer glimpses of the clubs and beaches they go to, but every five minutes, they cut to the Girls Gone Wild order commercial. They use the actual commercial because they can't fill the hour block with beach and club footage. The raw footage of them enticing a girl with a five dollar shirt to show her tits is what you want to see. Hell, the nerds who sit in front of the class are watching and taking notes. But the damn commercial keeps coming.

That is kind of how this storyline is. There is a lot of unnecessary filler.

The acting isn't bad. It isn't the best, but it isn't bad. Kind of like your McDonald's burgers. They are crappy burgers, but they aren't horrible either.

The previews did give a lot away on this one. This seems to be a typical problem in the movie industry, but they have to do what they have to do to sell tickets.

The best thing about this flick has to be the bodies of the actors. I am not talking about Bruce Willis per say, but everybody in the flick had to have super model bodies. Made for some decent eye candy.

The flick does hint on what things could be like in a futuristic setting. Almost like a Fahrenheit 451 setting, but Bradbury wrote that in the 1953. Way ahead of his time. If Hollywood wants to take that science fiction morality concept and turn over profit, I guess it is okay. Flick does let you think about the possibilities and the consequences too. Pretty Typical.

I give this flick a three-some out of a cherry pit (3 out of 5). Don't expect to be wowed, but you should have a decent time while you watch.

Birddogger out.

NFL Week 2 Picks

So, there are only three people total in my Pick 'em tournament. We all had different picks in week one. We all thought each other was wrong. So how did it come out?

We are all tied with 11 correct choices last week. Ain't that some shit.

So here are my picks for Week 2.

Sunday's Games:

Panthers @ Falcons

Alright, so Jake Delhomme looked like shit last week. I don't see much of a difference. The Falcons showed they have a Defense that needs to be respected, and an Offense that can put a few points on the board. The running game of the Panthers just isn't the same without a passing threat. The Falcons should put some Panther meat on the menu this week.

Vikings @ Lions

Two words, Adrian Peterson. What more do you need, ohh yeah, father time as your Quarterback. The Lions are who we thought they were. They made Drew Brees seem like the second coming of Jesus. They are not going to make Farve look as good, but they will try. Vikings all the way.

Bengals @ Packers

The Packers barely got away with a win against a Jay Cutler fiasco Bears team. Of course it wasn't Cutler's fault. I forgot who he blamed, but that fool can do no wrong. What a tool. The only reason he is in the NFL is because Craftsman didn't find him crafty, Husky said he was to skinny, Stanley said he didn't stutter enough, and Sears wanted nothing to do with his Sunday Best. The Bengals didn't do to hot either, but I expect the Packers team to put them at bay and take home a win.

Texans @ Titans

The Texans had no problem making Mark Sanchez look like an all-star, so I expect them to make Kerry Collins look like a god. The Titans could have beat Pittsburgh last week, but they didn't. Hell, Hines Ward almost gave them the game on a silver platter. Way to fight Titans, your fortune says your hard work will make the Texans cry like a beaten stepchild this week.

Raiders @ Chiefs

The Raiders didn't look all the bad this past Monday. It was probably because they were in throw back jerseys. Actually, the talent level on that team is incredible, and if they can find a way to put it all together, they could make good things happen. They will send the Chiefs on another trail of tears this week.

Patriots @ Jets

One thing I did see on Monday Night is that the Patriots have no running game and Tom Brady isn't 100%. So what does this mean? It means they are weak sauce. That is why the almost lost to Buffalo, but Buffalo decided they weren't ready to beat a decent team yet so they gave up the win on a stupid fumble on a kick return. Ohh well, I am sure T.O. is already pissed. But the Patriots showed they can be beat, and the Jets will do it. Word.

Saints @ Eagles

So the Saints probably think they are hot shit after last week. Hello! You beat the Lions. The Eagles looked pretty sharp, but McNabb is broken. I say they will shoot McNabb up and send him out to play. They will do fine and keep the Saints from marching in.

Rams @ Redskins

The Rams looked like crap. Redskins aren't great either. I will take the lesser of the two evils. Haynesworth will stop Jackson and then there goes the Rams game plan. To bad. Skin the Rams boys.

Cardinals @ Jaguars

The Cardinals got beat by the Niners. They will want to redeem themselves. It won't be this week. The Jaguars will ride the back of Jones-Drew to victory. Kurt Warner will get flustered and throw some picks. It will be a good time. He will throw away so many balls, hookers will come from every corner to get their fair share.

Seahawks @ Niners

The Niners are who I thought they were. A very young and talented team. Not only that, the beat the formal NFC Champion Cardinals last week. The Seahawks shut out their team though. Wait, it was the Rams. Lame. Niners won't go down so easily. They play to win the game.

Buccaneers @ Bills

The Bills came close to beating the Patriots. I expect them to learn from their shitty mistakes and go out an pop someone in the mouth. To bad it is going to be the Bucs. Tampa Bay proved that they have a great running game, but it isn't going to be enough. Bills will show they are an AFC East contender.

Steelers @ Bears

Cutler is going to suck. The Steelers don't need Palomalu for this one. But the Steelers should use this game to work on their rushing attack. It looked like shit. Fraternities do better rushing than the Steelers. It won't matter this time, they will send the Bears back to the fucking forest of make-believe because without Urlacher, their dreams are all they have.

Browns @ Broncos

What the hell is this. I bitched last week that the Bengals/Broncos match up was a shit one. Did Denver blow the Commissioner so they could have the easy schedule. This is bull shit. My feet have bigger battles on who is going to be one step ahead of the other. This is going to be lame. I would like to say the Broncos will have Jesus smile on them again so that they may win, but the Browns may just fuck up and deliver salvation anyway. I am taking Denver based on the fact that last week proved they are going to early mass on Sundays.

Ravens @ Chargers

This is probably the match up of the week. The Ravens are proving they are still a contender and the Chargers are proving that people need to quit picking LT for their fantasy team. Sproles is where the money is at. I don't think it is going to be enough to beat the Ravens though. To bad so Sad, quote the Raven, Nevermore.

Giants @ Cowboys

Cowboys struggled with the Bucs, they are not ready for the Giants. G-men are going to make them look bad in the house the Jerry built. But who cares, it is going to be sold out and there is a lot of money to be made. Romo had a record day last week, but must I remind you it was the Bucs. Sorry Cowboy fans. I am going to enjoy watching your hopes go down in flames. That's Fuego for you spanish peeps in section efe.

Monday's Game:

Colts @ Dolphins

The Colts proved that without Bob Sanders, they can't stop shit. The Dolphins proved that their young secondary needs to grow up. So who wins this one? Flip a coin, you will have better odds. I think the Phins have a chance. It is easy for a young guy to step up for a play or two than have a whole defense try and live without it's main man. It will be close one for sure though. 24 - 21 Phins.

So there we have it. Those are my educated guesses. I don't know how educated they could possibly be, but I have read the articles of Playboy before and maintained focus. Only time will tell.

Birddogger Out.

Jennifer's Body is awesome, the movie not so much.

Alright, if you have seen the previews, then you can kind of figure out what this movie is all about. This movie is about Megan Fox. Hands down. Your basically paying to see her in different outfits. The question is, is it worth the cost of admission?

The Answer.... Sure, why not!

I actually don't think much of Megan Fox's acting, but I thought she did a good job. I also thought Amanda Seyfried was a decent actor, especially after her role in Mamma Mia! (Yeah, I like that movie). Seyfried sucked in this film. Fox had better acting. I am not sure if that says a lot, but I said it anyway.

The story line is off the wall. Not like Michael Jackson off the wall, like Forrest Gump off the wall. It was almost like they took the dang refrigerator magnet words and created a story line from it instead of perverted sayings or romantic poems.

"Hmm... I have Fox, box, shoulder, devil, band, low and hot. This would make a great movie."

Nah, they knew this movie was going to be bad. So they tried to make the most out of it. You go see this movie for two reasons. Yes, one of them is Megan Fox, what is the other you might ask?

The Dialog.

I'm not talking like Tarantino Pulp Fiction Dialog, I am talking like some of the worst words and phrases that could possibly be imagined. All of it is worth a good laugh.

Unfortunately, I drank to much tea at dinner and can't rate this movie. Tear.

If you are looking to be scared, you might jump once or twice. Especially, if the punk ass sitting next to you keeps trying to scare you.

If you are looking to get a peep show of Megan Fox, you be better off using your imagination laying by yourself with a bottle of KY. Your not going to see anything in this flick. There is a decent make out scene. How good was it, the whole theater cheered and clapped with joy.

More people were laughing during this movie than anything else. Hopefully you will too if you see it. Word.

Birddogger Out.

week 1

Alright, the season is finally upon us. Play Football Pick 'em against me. The winner gets a $25 dollar movie gift certificate.


http://games.espn.go.com/pigskin/en/group?groupID=16736

Group: Beat the Birddogger

Now for Thursdays Prediction.

The opener hosts the returning champion Steelers against the Titans of Tennessee. Should be a good match up. Vince Young should get the start. I hope he has all his marbles and doesn't lose his composure. The Running game is still with the Titans as they really have no real over the top weapons. I expect Young to run more than he throws.

The Titans have been known for having a decent defense, but without Albert Haynesworth plugging the middle now, I think they will have a tough time stuffing the Offense of Pittsburgh.

Speaking of which, Pittsburgh is stacked on both sides of the ball. So I have chosen them to win the opener.

Sunday's Games:

Miami @ Atlanta

Both teams are coming off miracle seasons. I am sure Jesus would be proud. However, Miami seems to have great depth as they went undefeated in the preseason. Atlanta has acquired Tony Gonzales which adds to their passing attack.

This one is a tough one to call. Miami has young cornerbacks that really need to step up on this one, but Atlanta has a quaterback that needs to stray from a sophomore slump. What is the x-factor here? The wildcat. It will be a close game, but I expect Miami to pull some Houdini shit out of the ass of Sporano and find a way to win.

Denver @ Cincinnati

The NFL is evil. Lets put two horrible teams together for weak one. And no, there was no typo there. This matchup is weak. Superbad's Mclovin' has a better chance of winning this game. The Bengals have Palmer back and Denver has Orton. Orton will blow the game. Tear. Bengals win. (Did I really just pick the Bengals to win?)

Minnesota @ Cleveland

With Farve in the back field, one thing is guaranteed. The Vikings will probably lead the league in turnovers. Unfortunately, The Browns will not be able to capitalize on anything. Yeah, it is going to be worse than whiskey dick. I hope you have Peterson on your fantasy team, because he is going to be hotter than Sharapova.

Jacksonville @ Indianapolis

I would say the Jags had a chance, but with Jones-Drew going down, it doesn't look to good. Gurard has to have a hell of a game in order to beat the Colts. Only one things stands in his way from destiny, Bob Sanders. Even though it is a divisional match-up, this one is a no brainer. Colts all the way. Getty up.

Detroit @ New Orleans

Alright, I don't think the Lions will go win-less this year. They should win one, we all hope. The question is will it be week one? Nope. Even without Pierre Thomas, the Saints will find a way to win. If Stafford turns out to be the messiah, then we might have a ball game. I won't keep my fingers crossed.

Dallas @ Tampa Bay

Neither team is that great. Yeah, I said it. What this game is going to come down to is the running game. "In the blue corner, hailing from the remains of Julius Jones.... MARION BARBER THE THIRD!..... and in the red corner, coming back and kicking the shit out of Ernest Graham for the number one spot CARNELL WILLIAMS! The Cadillac versus The Barbarian... on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.... We will sell you the whole seat, but you will only need the edge!"

Can Keith Brooking and the Cowboy defense stop Williams.... probably. Can the Buccaneer defense stop Barber?.... probably not. The Bucs can find other ways to score though. I don't think Romo can. Without T.O. to pull a double team and free Witten, I expect him to give the ball away. Turnovers are going to kill the Cowboys, but the running game will sustain them. Cowboys will win this one.

Philadelphia @ Carolina

For some reason, the Eagles are expected to do really well this season. I am not a believer. I have more belief in Extra-terrestrial life than I do that theory. They will be okay, not the greatest though. And Vick, he is not a factor in this game at all... not that he would make that much a difference anyway.

Carolina still has their two running back punch, and I think that it will be just as effective. Delhomme has to play decent which he has proven he can and they should be fine. Beason will handle Westbrook, game, set match. Panthers will win this one.

Kansas City @ Baltimore

Is this a joke. The great Cassel is down. The Ravens went undefeated in pre-season after a great season last year. The Chiefs need to visit the Shaman and hope he has a Flacco voo-doo doll. Do a rain dance or something, wait, they will still play in the rain. Kansas City better pray for Armageddon then. If the world ends Sunday, we will know what happened. Ravens all the way.

New York @ Houston

The Jets are going down to swim in the humidity. This one should be interesting. Houston is looking for a successful season. They have come close to many times. Not to mention, their young team is filled with talent. New York went the other route. Lets get some old fogies to fill roster spots and hope that it works. Kind of blew up in their face last year. I don't expect them to do to much this year either. In Sanchez they trust. Super Mario is going to eat him for lunch though. To bad. Maybe the Jets will fly next week. Doubt it.

Washington @ New York

The Skins and The Giants. Hmm...

Giants are pretty stacked and healthy once again. Justin Tuck proved he could be the man, but now Osi is back. Skins have no chance. Portis should just set the ball down and walk away, we know Campbell won't do anything with it. As Bruce Hornsby and 2pac said,"That's just the way it is." Cooley will be waiting downfield for nothing. He should bring some jacks cause that's about the only ball action he is going to get. I think it is obvious who I am picking for this one.

San Francisco @ Arizona

I truly think the Niners have a young talented team. Patrick Willis is second to none, but Frank Gore has shown he really can't carry the team to victory. They need a quaterback, and I don't think they have a winner yet. Shame.

Arizona should be clicking on all cylinders from last season. I expect them to go out and prove that their Super Bowl run wasn't a fluke.

St. Louis @ Seattle

The Rams get Steven Jackson back. Yay! Seattle gets Hasselbeck back. Yay! People are saying that Seattle has a chance for a division title, which makes sense. Before last year, my grandma had a chance at the division title.

I expect Jackson to run hard, but it won't be enough to stop Houshmanzadah... game over. Hawks over Rams

Chicago @ Green Bay

Green Bay has a decent team. Some good no-names on defense, Grant in the backfield, and Rodgers under center. Chicago has Jay Cutler who is pointing the finger at Hester for any mistake. There will be no difference in this game. The Pack will make Cutler wish he was still in Denver. If he was still a Bronco, and they lost to the Bengals, would he blame Marshall? Probably. Suck it up and be a man. Quit being gay Jay.

Monday's Games

Damn, I hope somebody reads this shit. This is a lot of writing.

Buffalo @ New England

T.O. is about to start some Bills drama so make sure you have your popcorn ready cause it's going to be a show. He probably couldn't throw popcorn up and catch it in his mouth. The Bills need to rebuild. The City of New Orleans rebuilt faster than them. They haven't been good in a while.

However, I don't think the Patriots are all that either. Everything rests on Tom Brady's shoulders. If he can't deliver, I don't think the defense can save him. However, I think he will pull a Gloria Gaynor and will survive. Pats win this one.

San Diego @ Oakland

The Chargers face a speedy Oakland team. People say Oakland is bad, but they at least won some games last season. Unless Richard Seymore finally decides to be a Raider, I don't see them finding a way to stop the Chargers. I do think Oakland will put up some points though. They have a lot of speed, but need Keanu Reeves to help them over come the ticking time bomb that is their franchise. Lighting over Oakland 28-13.

Think I am full of shit? Sign up and play, or get off my nuts.

Birddogger out.

Pig Skin Pick 'Em

Alright, I know I have said that this blog is a football blog, and I am sticking to my word.

I am going to make weekly predictions on who is going to win NFL games. You can follow along on ESPN and see if you can beat me. There is no spread and you must have an ESPN account to participate. It is really simple and you can put false information. ESPN thinks my name is Cuban Pete... but we all know it's Birddogger... silly them.

Anyway to join, get your account and go to:

http://games.espn.go.com/pigskin/en/group?groupID=16736

Group: Beat the Birddogger

Best of luck to all. There will be a $25 movie certificate to the person who can beat me. I know it isn't much, but it's the economy stupid which is more motivation for me to get this shit right.

No worries dear readers, I am still going to do movie reviews. I have even toyed with doing my own awards ceremony. It will have a red carpet and everything... except I only know of one star, so I think will just try to get some strippers to walk the carpet instead. They do quite a bit for a dollar.

Anyway, I look forward to the challenge in the Pig Skin, I should have all my picks in by Thursday morning and they will be announced on this blog.

Remember dear readers, you heard it here first. On the record, off the QT and very hush hush.

Birddogger out

Gamer is not worth playing

Alright, I am sure everybody thinks this flick is a Halo version of Death Race. The truth is, it kind of is, but it kind of isn't. There are a lot of similarities though. Well, I don't know how many details I can go into without ruining the other flick for those who haven't seen it.

Fuck it. There is a guy who is wrongfully convicted is forced to play a game, just like in Death Race. He has a wife and a daughter are confiscated to an extent, similar to Death Race. Well, I don't remember if Handsome Rob had a daughter in Death Race, but does it really matter? There is a game and after so many wins you get set free, just like in Death Race.

However, in Death Race, the game is the center and end all be all of the flick. In Gamer, the game plays a significant roll but there is a whole other part of the movie too.

So meanwhile, back at the ranch, the acting really isn't the best as you can imagine. Of course any movie with Ludacris can't be taken seriously. I kept waiting him to tell somebody to move bitch and get out the way, but he didn't. Tear.

Michael C. Hall plays the bad guy, but it is pretty much the same creepy role he plays in Dexter. He is kind of good at being the creepy guy. Gerard Butler did a pretty good job. He is starting to impress me as an actor. I don't know many people who can lead Spartans, help Katherine Heigl get laid, and be a universal mind controlled soldier. Props to him, I don't consider him the best, but he makes realistic attempts at his roles. If only Jim Carrey had the same potential.

Actually, the best actor in the flick is John Leguizamo. He does a great job at the small role he is given. I actually can't think of a bad roll that he has played, maybe Luigi in the Super Mario Bros. movie, but that was a horrible movie in itself. But I still watch it on TV if it comes on.

The story line isn't the greatest. If I were to try to explain it, it would be pretty difficult. Like I said earlier, the game itself isn't the whole flick.

The camera view is something that bothered me. Although the action sequences were pretty cool, the camera moves around pretty quickly leaving you with the sense of "What the hell just happened?" syndrome.

This flick is somewhat entertaining, and luckily it didn't last forever. It was a nice attempt, just seemed rushed. Ohh and there is a political jab for those who pay attention. This movie gets a one night stand out of a cherry pit (2 out of 5).

Don't Take Woodstock

Alright, If you are planning to see this flick, let me warn you of a few things.

There are some naked people. A bunch of people get naked. Unfortunately it stays true to the time period, so there is a lot of bush. Yup, like seventies porn bush. The kind of shit you need a machete for.

There is some drug use. Yeah, that was probably easy to guess. Is there a Beatles acid trip... yup. Bright colors and everything. Might as well put a flash light behind some bandannas... Get the same effect.

There is some really shitty acting. The best acting are the dude's parents. Ohh yeah, the guy who plays the cross dresser also does a good job.

The movie drags on forever. I swear I just wasted five hours of my life, but it was only two hours long. I was fighting to stay awake. I even lifted some of the arm rests on the seats and laid down. Then they turned on the lights in the theater, so I had to sit up. True story, just ask Baby Girl.

The set was pretty good though, I thought it looked like the sixties. Not that I would know... but it's whatever.

Ohh, and if you think you will hear the music of Woodstock, you are sadly mistaken. I think the only song I heard was California Dreaming by the Mamas and the Papas. You don't see any of the concert at all. It is more like you know it is going on, but you are not important enough to watch. It is the rated R movie that you really want to see, but can't get tickets to. Or the strip club you want to go in but you don't match the dress code.

And one more thing, swing your arms around like a squid isn't dancing. I don't give a shit how white you are, that shit isn't dancing.

I really didn't like this movie, it just wasn't for me. But the set and the parents acting helps it out just a little. So this flick gets a one night stand out of a cherry pit (2 out of 5).

Bastards are Inglorious

Quentin Tarantino has been on a dry spell since he Killed Bill, but he has recently hit the jackpot. Lucky Bastard. Inglorious sucks you in harder than a $50 hooker.

The storyline is pretty well thought-out and portrayed in Tarantino fashion. The flick is 3 hours long, and after a long day of work, I really couldn't take my eyes away. For someone who pays student prices for flicks, I might actually pay the full amount to see this one. Well worth it.

The acting is what really steals the show. Surprisingly it isn't all Brad Pitt although he does very well. Honestly though, he had an easy role. Read some lines that are very well written and add a southern accent, ohh and look like a badass doing it. Easy money.

The acting of Christoph Waltz is what really steals the show. He nailed the role of the antagonist, and for those of you who missed that SAT word, it means bad guy. He makes you both hate and admire his character and that is no easy feat.

There are plenty of signs that remind you that Tarantino made this flick. The best sign of all is the dialog. Somehow, he takes everyday conversation and puts it in a movie. Such a simple concept that is to complex for everyone else.

I originally thought this film was a remake which drives me up the wall. The original Inglorious Bastards had a different plot which completely makes sense. Tarantino takes an idea, adds blood, gore and good dialog, and sticks a good-looking guy or girl in front of the camera and he makes money. It's that easy folks.

This one goes as one of his best. I was really hoping Samuel L. Jackson was going to make an appearance, but he didn't. Ohh well. He will be in the next movie I see, yelling as usual.

If you are looking for an historically accurate flick, this is not your movie. If you are looking for some fun Nazi ass kicking with a side of more Nazi ass kicking, then this one is for you. This flick gets the whole cherry pit (5 out of 5). Woot.

Birddogger Out.

Dis-sick 9

Alright, for starters I would like to point out that I do not have a weak stomach. However, it seems a shaking camera will lead to my demise. The camera in District Nine is similar to a Blair Witch or a Cloverfield, and for some strange reason, I can't take it. I tried, but failed. Failed worse than Howard Dean. Pia!

Unfortunately this means I can't really give the movie a rating. From what I saw, it looked pretty interesting. I mean, I saw the first 45 minutes of the flick and then got the Cliff Notes version of everything else from Baby Girl.

I think I did everyone a favor by leaving. I should be a hero. You remember in the Goonies where Chunk describes how he threw up in a theater? Well, it would have been something like that. An epic scene that is better left un-filmed.

A soon as I exited the theater, I sat on a bench and waited for the world to end it's spinning. That is actually pretty boring, so once it slowed down enough, I jumped into another theater. No, not another District Nine theater, but I a flick I knew I wasn't going to see. Why waste a good movie ticket?

The flick was called Bandslam. I never have even heard of it. It wasn't to bad. I caught the last hour of that flick. I kind of had to play Sherlock Holmes to figure out what was going on, but it wasn't to hard. It was a nice little film, nothing really to exciting. There are some cute girls in it. Always a plus.

There are some other movies out this week that I would like to review. The Time Traveler's Wife and The Goods. So if I watch those there might actually be a review this week. Until then, this is the Birddogger reminding you to get your pets spayed or neutered.

Where will Vick end up?

Like I mentioned before, this blog was intended for football purposes. I don't even like movies.

I always have football predictions, and they normally turn out to be true. Unfortunately there is no documentation of this. This blog was the solution.

Just to kick it off, I was a firm believer that Vick was going to play football again. Everybody else thought he as a PR nightmare, but a good athlete is always needed.

Vick was convicted for dog fighting, which I am not an advocate for, but really don't see why it was more relevant than Dante Stallworth committing DUI manslaughter or Plaxico Burress carrying an armed weapon into a club. It isn't like Vick unleashed his dog on the public.

In some countries, they breed dogs for food and then they eat them. It isn't a very pleasant thought, but if you think about it, we do the same to chickens, cows and pigs. But closed minded people like the ones in PETA can do no wrong and blow Vick's case into a PR fiasco, mainly because we don't eat dogs in this country, they are pets. Hey Vick, go somewhere else if you want to do that crap.

Now that my prediction of his return is about to be fulfilled, I must decided on where Mr. Vick will end up. My guess is Washington.

"Why," you might ask? It just makes sense. Washington is a team who's winning strategy is to get big names, unfortunately it doesn't work. Washington isn't the only team who does this, Dallas is a culprit as well as New England. However, those teams have quarterbacks that they have vested a lot of money in. Washington has Campbell who is inconsistent. Money may be the issue with Washington after throwing $100 million at Albert Haynesworth, but I think that just proves my point of them going after big names. I can guarantee you that Washington is not going to win a Super Bowl this year, with or without Vick.

If Washington some how can not find a reason to gather some funds to sign Vick, I can see the Raiders picking him up.

"Why," you might ask? Who the hell knows why the Raiders do half the shit they do? I mean seriously, they have the philosophy of just getting the fastest guys available. If they are not winning, then they don't have enough speed on the field. That hasn't worked out for them either, but what do I know. I just write a damn blog from time to time.

In other news, I got a little of the Hall of Fame Game. It wasn't bad. The fake punt was entertaining. I expect the Titans to do well again this year, but only if they stay healthy. Vince Young needs to prove he isn't a baby anymore, but T.O. is a ticking time bomb that is going to start pointing fingers before the season is over. I am a firm believer that people don't change so I can imagine that both of these characters are going to go through similar events once again.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, injuries are stacking up so watch your fantasy teams. Antoino Bryant, Brandon Marshall, Steve Smith, and T.O. to name a few. I should have some playoff predictions coming soon as I continue to watch more preseason games and any prediction that I have, you better believe it is going up on this thing.

Birddogger Out.

G.I. Lame

I am not sure when Hasbro started getting in the movie making business, but they should quit now. Having Dennis Quaid in a movie doesn't make it Oscar material either. And honestly, how can you have an action flick with Marlon Wayans.

The acting is pretty crappy, and the kid from 3rd rock from the sun isn't very intimidating. Even the action is crappy. I didn't know bullets fired with such velocity underwater.

The story line is also really crappy. The made up technology was kind of cool, but if knowing is half the battle, then these Joes were mother fucking psychics. They came to dramatic conclusions about situations real quickly.

Flashbacks were also used to explain some back story, except they take 6 of them to try and tell you something. I would rather get it the first time, flashbacks shouldn't be a buffet were I have to go back for seconds just to feel that I got my money's worth.

The movie did get one thing right though. Guys love hot girls and ninjas. That is about the only thing that this flick has going for it. Sports bras, tight leather suits, and epic kung fu battles. They should really just make a movie with chicks and ninjas and leave out the all American hero theme.

Because I have a crush on one of the chicks, this flick gets a one night stand out of a cherry pit (2 out of 5).

Bruno and Harry know the ugly truth!

Bruno is by far the gayest movie I have ever seen, and just FYI, I haven't seen Brokeback Mountain. Sacha Baron Cohen has taken the movie world over the top as a gay fashion expert trying to become rich and famous in America.

The plot is very simple and much like Borat, not very important at all. The main reason you watch this flick is to get some laughs and to see real peoples reactions to an over the top character.

Cohen is an amazing actor. Him keeping a straight face is like going to the strip club and trying not to get a hard on. He maintains the act all throughout the film.

However, I have heard a lot of criticism about this flick being to gay, but honestly, that is similar to jumping into a swimming pool and not expecting to get wet. It is just as over the top as Borat except it deals with homosexuality and not racism. I give Bruno an orgy out of a cherry pit (four out of five).

Harry Potter isn't gay, but he is going to get some action pretty soon. The sexual tension in his new film can be cut with a knife. Well, that could have just been my own sexual tension with Emma Watson. I don't know what it is about her, but she is hot.

The plot in this movie wasn't bad, but I really got the feeling that the book would be better. It seemed to take an unexpected twist to me that seemed a little unexplained.

The acting was well and it should be. When you play the same role forever, you better have it down by the sixth time.

I am not really a fan of the Harry Potter series, but this movie wasn't bad. And neither was Emma Watson. I give this flick a threesome out of a cherry pit (3 out of 5).

The Ugly truth is pretty predictable. But the best thing about this movie was the funniest part was not in the previews.

The acting wasn't bad, and Katherine Heigl isn't bad looking either. The dialog is kind of dirty which is probably why it got an R rating. But the dirty language makes the one liners pretty funny.

If you are looking for a chick flick that is pretty funny. This is one may be worth your time, just don't expect anything spectacular. This flick gets a threesome out of a cherry pit (3 out of 5).

Public Enemy #1?

Bank robbing can be a hell of an exciting scene in a flick. The first scene in the Dark Knight is a bank robbery that introduces you to an great antagonist. However, when you are talking about real bank robberies, they don't last long at all. Since this is the case, what seems like a bank robbing movie only has about 15 minutes of actual bank hold-up. Breaking out of jail seemed more interesting and lasted a little longer.

With that being said, anytime a flick is done on historic accounts, it is normally bound by such. The Titanic must sink, Christ must be nailed to the cross, and Pearl Harbor must be bombed. There are no real alternate endings and no real wiggle room for creative addition. So the story of John Dillinger and Melvin Purvis is an interesting one, making it interesting for the audience is a challenge.

The sets on this film were really well done. From the movies they actors watched, to the cars, to the guns, to the phones, to the clothing, to the mannerisms and jargon.... the details were very taken care of. It is easy to believe that there are in the late 20's early 30's and easy to get lost in the atmosphere.

The acting is second to none as Johnny Depp and Christian Bale nail there roles. The supporting cast was also done very well. I looked, but could find no acting flaws.

Overall, this movie is really well done... but since bank robberies and jail breaks don't take much time, the movie seems to drag on. So much was done to make this a great movie, but the historic nature of the flick really holds it back. This flick is an orgy out of a cherry pit (4 out of 5).

There have been some other flicks that I have not rated yet, and I would like to give a brief overview of those movies.

Transformers 2 wasn't a bad movie, and certainly wasn't a great movie either. Megan Fox can't act for shit, but nobody really cares. I am sure you can see why. The story was very elaborate and drawn out. The creativity in this flick counteract the previous one. Apparently, what they Megatron wanted in the first one really wasn't worth a damn. What a waste a time. This could have been the first movie of the series, probably would have shaved off 45 minutes of run time.

The CGI was really smooth as expected, the action wasn't bad, and the one-liners by the twin Autobots were hilarious. That saved this movie to keep it a threesome out of a cherry pit (3 out of 5).

Year One was probably the biggest waste of time ever. What I thought might be a recreation of a Chris Farley - David Spade chemistry, but I was sadly mistaken. My baby girl fell asleep during the flick and needed to be waken. I myself had a hard time staying awake. The story sucked, the acting sucked, the girls were good looking but had arm hair, the jokes were lame. Overall, this one is a masturbation session out of a cherry pit (1 out of 5).

The Proposal was a clever chick flick that was really well done. The acting was really good, especially with the presence of Betty White. The story was a little far fetched but the acting kept it believable. It was really well written and directed. If you are looking for some estrogen entertainment, this one is worth it. The Proposal is an orgy out of a cherry pit ( 4 out of 5).

Hungover with no memory

Four guys go out for a bachelor party that they can't recollect. Sounds like a winning formula to me. Heaven knows I have never had a black out night before, but if I had, I would hate to wake up to such a nightmare has there. The best part about it, is you get to laugh at their predicament.

The film places the viewer on a traumatic roller coaster as you follow along the story line, putting back the night before piece by piece. Unfortunately, it is really hard to follow. Such and such happened at one time, and something else happened before that.... but I think the first thing had an effect on something two hours later. Basically, the film doesn't do a great job of placing events in chronological order which really wouldn't be a problem, but it seems to be main focus of the characters and of the plot. If you are going to go with a movie theme you should stick to it. However this point will probably be missed by many as the events from the night before are very surprising and outlandish that one could care less when it happened.

Unfortunately, the previews show many of the funny parts. There are a few here and there that might catch you by surprise, but for the most part, you have an idea on what you are getting into. Going to Olive Garden, I bet you are going to eat Italian. The movie tried to be as random as Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, leaving the viewer completely unaware of what might happen next, but it fails due knowledge given away in the trailers.

Although the ride of recollection with the characters is fun, the acting really isn't that great. The events kind of hide this aspect too. However, the events could not save the abrupt ending which took place. It is like being in the middle of the best sex ever, and your In-Laws knock on your door, except you are forced to stop and answer the damn door. Just plain sucks.

If you are a fan of stupid funny movies, this one is worth your time. Don't expect the world, just some laughs. I give this one a threesome out of a Cherry Pit (3 out of 5). If you have ever blacked out from drinking, this might be one of your stories. You could probably relate.

Up up and away

Pixar is a well known franchise who's films always seem to be promising. They have the perfect formula of great writing, great characters and even better graphics. They seem to pave the way that children's films are to be written and UP is no different.

The storyline of the film is very unique and original as Carl Fredrickson, a grumpy old man is looking for another adventure in his life. Such a story caters to both the imagination of children and the real issues of becoming older. The story never lets up once it starts. The characters are cute and memorable, the animation is gorgeous and the humor isn't obnoxious.

The best part of the movie is the fact that it was tailored to adults and children alike. I truly feel that Pixar is realizing that the fans of Toy Story, Bug's Life, and Finding Nemo still love the films, but are growing in age. I was surprised to see a children's movie with some adult orientation. Get you mind out the gutter, there is definitely no sex scenes in the flick, however seeing such in 3D would be interesting. Anyway, there is some adult drama that you see in some chick flicks and red blood makes an appearance.

The story really carries this film all the way home. If you are a fan of such films, then you can definitely walk into this one expecting more. Even the short film before the flick was really clever and heartwarming.

Although it seems like I can't find anything wrong with the film, there is a flaw. Pixar makes a big deal of this being their first 3D film but it didn't seem like they truly knew how to use it. The best part of the 3D experience were in the opening scenes where they mention that you are watching Disney in 3D. This film can easily be watched with out the 3D graphics because they really don't make that much of a difference. However, their lack of using the extra dimension doesn't take away from how great the film really is.

If you are looking for something clever, original, and touching then this is it. Invite the whole gang because this one is worth bringing out all the freaky toys you have and get ready for a crazy night. This one is the whole cherry pit! (5 out of 5).